When I'm alone in my head

My eyes shut easily and happily.
The deep sleep came very quickly upon me.
The dreaming came too.

It is so vivid and real I am not sure it isnt a memory.
All the familiar elements are in it. Staircases and elevators, hotels and neighbourhoods I know.
A mall, the big mall where I am dream-shopping for something.
Wrong corridor, wrong street, wrong turn.... something always messes up.
I avoid the elevator instinctively knowing it will not go anyplace I want to be.

Mom is here this time but she is not talking to me.
Mom just floats in and out of the sequences. She is transparent AND transluscent.
Her hair is black so she is from my little years and yes, she is even wearing fortrel.


Although I am asleep, I know I am asleep. The sleep me realises this is but a shade of Mom and not the real Mom. This makes me sad.

I want to talk to her.
I want to tell her to visit my sister in her dreams and straighten her out.
Her shade looks right at me and smiles, not going anywhere.

I think about the wind on the pier tonight when I picked up my parent from the ferry.
I am there in a trice. It is only a question of seconds before I wake up.
I am too aware of my dreaming.

Instead I seem to lose my self-awareness and float into a series of dreams that rush me along life. The Ocean watches it all. Dancing waves laughing at this meandering spirit so obviously lost. Noone will tell me the secret but I know that it is in me too. If only I can remember.

Suddenly I know it.
I KNOW IT!
I want to shout it out the profound thing I know.

" Wake up! You are shouting in your sleep again! WAKE UP!!"

What was I shouting I ask.

"Something in Latin I think."

You sure it wasnt just gibberish?

"Well maybe but you did shout PERCEIVE a few times."

Now I dont want to go back to sleep not really.
I am still sleepwalking and still sleep shouting and still waking up all sorts of people.
And what was the profound knowledge I *perceived*?

NO idea. BAH.
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