Home again Home Again jiggity jig

Montreal was great.

Glad to be home.

More later...


=*= Signs & Symptoms

Signs & Symptoms of Inner Peace.

Tendency to act & think spontaneously rather from fears based on past experiences.
An unmistakeable ability to enjoy each moment.

Loss of interest in judging other people.
Loss of interest in judging self.
Loss of interest in interpreting the actions of others.

Loss of interest in conflict.
Lack of ability to worry.
Frequently overwhelming episodes of appreciation.
Frequent feelings of connectedness to others and nature.
Frequent attacks of smiling.

An increasing tendency to let things happen rather than to make them happen.
An increased suseptability to the love extended by others as well as the urge to extend love.


Change of Plan

The Rocky Mountain Express is out. We are going to Montreal.
On Sunday.

It is entirely possible I am the world's worst traveller. My brother knows this and is taking me anyway. He is in shock over my bf's dump of me. He couldn't believe anyone would not want to be with me, (uh huh) but when you have a TBI you get used to people not being able to handle your reality. I need more rest than 99% of people and I cannot stand noise or bright lights. (or breaks in routine, surprises and thousands of other things people take for granted)

I always tell evangelicals that I am not afraid of going to hell after death. I have lived my life in hell. It has to be better than this. Having said that I do love this crazy old world of ours and I am grateful for what quality of life I enjoy. Very, very grateful.

---note to self -- pack ear plugs, gameboy and dark glasses.



This vacation time was booked to spend with a person who stood me up last year.
--- Rerun.

People without familial obligations have skewered concepts of what it is like to have heavy ties not easy loosened, let alone broken. I am not surprised, merely annoyed with myself for being coerced into behaviour unsustainable ( by the other). Now my vacation looks different.

Rocky Mountain Express here I come. With my brother.
It will be fun.

- * - * -

Now for what is not fun.
That disease that has settled into my best friends body.

The diagnosis was worst case. The cancer was not contained, and the breast must come off.
Chemotherapy and then, possibly another mastectomy. *(wince) This week we will do fun things and not mention that c-word. It is just a terrible time.

I do not want to lose one more person I love.