Hard-wiring and Siestas

Just as it happened last night, I lit my candle and turned on my fountain, set the music to an ambient mix and lay thinking of the many blessings in my life.
---Two hours later---

I had a lovely siesta on this, the hottest of summer days.
Sleeping rids me of my distastes and anger towards those who practise injustice.
I awaken with a love for all.

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One thing that I know for certain is my awareness of an all Powerful Being has been life-long.
When I speak with those who hold no such certainty in their hearts and minds it seems the basic difference between us is not so much a question of beliefs as a question of hard-wiring.

During my younger years when recreation was fuelled with sport and other adrenilin surgers, I felt myself away from God many times. God did not move-- my focus did.
In times of despair soaked through with prescription drugs/alcohol, I felt God all right, but my awareness of my own utterly sin-sodden self took focus away from righteousness.
I hate drugs. But I hate alcohol more. Alcohol is the *me* drug.

Even 12 step programs are all about the ME/I/me/I.
Necessary but not the whole answer.

The closest belief system to my own desire and longing is the Essene way.
Todays Blessing (as worded by Danaan Parry, God rest his Soul)

" As the richness of my life brings peace to my soul,
So do I actively share this peace with all.
Peace with those I love,
Peace with those who trouble me,
Peace with those I fear,
Peace with beings far and near.
For it is I who chain the Dove of Peace
Or I who let it fly."

Amen to that.