So fast!

It is all happening so fast! Life is whizzing by.
Although I am corporeal and therefore technically incapable of understanding eternity and matters outside of this temporal state, I find myself altered as I age. As do we all I am sure.

My altered state loads my imagery on some sort of superimposed pallette of events and occasions. I see change myriad and murky in my blessed paradise. Too much change.

My parent who died had a dear friend who endeared herself to me by those very words: "It is too fast."

My parent who lives on has fast-forwarded through disease and pain this year.

So fast.

My sister who only speaks when she wants something looks back and sees events as a source of blame.
"We are all victims."
"Speak for yourself, I am not a victim. Victimhood is a choice."

I am a victim though.
Of my own poor choices.
Of my own trapped and tangled thoughts.
Of knowing I can be better and still being less.

Perhaps one day I will choose something to surprise myself.

I mean in a GOOD way.