Strange Theories, Hopeful Harmonics

From a very early age, dreams have visited me.
As a pre-school child, smells and sensations; thoughts unmatched to words, danced in dandrites the night long.
There were grande themes even then- good and evil, good versus evil.
The headiness of it all. (no pun intended)

There was one dream I disliked so intensely, that waking from it seemed perilous. My mother would find me with my sheets soiled gibbering unintelligably, or in a dazed state wandering the house, or, the worst times, frozen in my body, unable to move. It was not a dream of things, it was a dream of emotion and movement. Wind and sky and looking down from great heights. Thrilling until *wham* the awakening.

Four years old and trying to explain something to a Mother who just wants to go back to sleep.

I would lie in the bed shaking for hours, afraid to return to dreamland.

When teendom beckoned, these dreams became nightmares. No longer was I soaring in freedom, I was being pursued by demons and monsters. I was terrified. When I awakened, I would be frozen for many long minutes. I could hear everything in the real world but was unable to move even an eyelash. My mind was conscious but my body was not.

By the time I was 22, it was such a problem that I rarely slept. Days would march by and adrenilin and willpower kept me upright. 3 or 4 hours was about the maximum I would manage until once every 6 or 8 weeks I would quite literally crash. That night would typically be a 14 to 18 hour sleep of dreamlessness.

Around this time, I began to dream of the Crystal City.
It is very familiar to me as I have been there many times.
It is a place for the dead.

Many years of this dream before I realised that.

There are other things there; even other beings but they cannot interact with me. The oddest part about the crystal city is that when I walk there, I am not myself, not this personality. The soul is harmony, the garment it wears it not.

Once in the Crystal City I realised it was my dream and my being slammed back to consciousness. I woke up in bed with a migraine. The next time I realised this, instead of waking up, the reality shifted and I was floating above forests.
"This is not real! This is just a dream!" I knew it and THEN *wham* Awake again with a head throbbing.

Now it is a place I go so regularly that when I remember it is a dream I stay asleep but try to be conscious. What strange things we humans are.

I had the most peculiar feeling in the Crystal City a few months ago.
I was seized by the idea that those souls who wander lost for all eternity are stars. Forever drifting sorrowfully away from each other.

The sadness overwhelmed me and I was suddenly in deep space looking for lost souls. It was amazing.

The sheer magnamity of it prodded me into full consciousness and *wham* I fell a million trillion stories from space at thousands of times the speed of light to sit bolt upright in my bed with stars dancing in my wide open eyes.

Noone can ever make me believe that the dust that forms our bodies is all that we contain.

Where do you go when you sleep?

When I die I am sure I will walk through the Crystal City *to* someplace somewhen else.

I am certain it is a portal.

Perhaps it is kinder NOT to remember your dreams.
In dreams, time is distorted. Time is not a jailor; rather it exists parallel.
I wish I could convey what it is like to think and be asleep and yet, on a primal level, aware that humanity is where I am contained.

The force that propels me back into this body is awesome and unmatchable.
In those moments outside of time I know there is a God. And I know that the human spirit is HUGE. Sometimes I see those things I used to consider good or evil and I know them to be lesser things. Not lesser than me so much as lesser than God in me.

It is an odd thing and the thing that makes me truly absolutely know God is God.
The one true God.

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Jude 1 24-25

24 To him who is able to keep you from falling and to present you before his glorious presence without fault and with great joy— 25 to the only God our Savior be glory, majesty, power and authority, through Jesus Christ our Lord, before all ages, now and forevermore! Amen.