A bad week

It was held in the funeral home from noon til three pm.
"Family and friends are invited..."

We arrived close to three. I had promised my friend we would not go near an open coffin.
We went through the main doors and there were halls to the left and right. I went left.
We signed the guest book and my friend was already in tears.

What do you say for a life cut so short?
How can you spin something positive on such an occasion?
I wrote how we would miss the happy times, her open heart, her gentle spirit...

The coffin was laying there, open.
Perhaps because I deal in death for a living it seemed normal to walk in and say goodbye.
I totally forgot that I had promised not to go near the coffin with my friend.
My parent was with me. We had enjoyed coffee in her shoppe together many times.
There was a muffled sound from behind me.

"I can't go in there. I can't. I need to go. Can I have the car keys?"
It took me a few moments to put it together.
She could not even go to the other room to look through albums of happier times.

I took a long look at the beautiful woman in the coffin.
She lay dressed in one of her hippie dresses, holding a bouquet of flowers.
It was very surreal. I wanted to shout: "Maddie, get up! Get out of there!"
There were crucifixes and pictures of Jesus. I was surprised by that.

"Are you going to the Mass tonight?"
Her best friend asked me.

No. I am not going. I told my ex and a few others and they will go.
I am so glad I went to the viewing. Her family and friends had prepared a beautiful pamphlet.
It had a picture of her wearing a knit cap, knit sweater and smiling her big beautiful smile.
She was most at home outdoors. Tofino. Lasqueti. Anywhere trees and streams, flowers sand or surf were.

I asked her boyfriend how he was, after thanking him for putting a sign on her cafe with details about the services.
"We missed the paper deadline. It was the only way we could reach people to tell them."
He winced as he said: "It has been a bad week."
He burst into tears and walked away.

I just cannot believe it.
Way too young. Way way too sad.