A blooming shame!

We shop at the same Thrifts, and we frequently bang into each other clutching items the other would have scooped first. She is one of those women who was born one thousand years old. She is an Earth Mother type-- always cooking for ten, opening her home to strays and trying to make things right for everyone in her sphere. She is a new olde soul, a young hippie, and an entrepeneur.

She had a bad year or two; her sister had a catastrophic car accident on her way back to another province after visiting, and had brain trauma. She had ongoing struggles with her business. She owns a funky little cafe on the main drag across from the water, where she welcomes tourists and locals alike with the same enthusiasm. She baked her own breads and muffins and cooked her own soups and ran the place with love and happiness.

"Please -- come by and see the place."

The Cafe she owns is just down the hill from my place. It is not very far but for some reason I don't often walk that way. Back when I worked the rotation in this town, I would drop in on her almost every day. Now that I am in another area, I only get in there every month or so.

"I miss seeing you."

"Me too, Mads. I miss coming by. "

She told me she had entered the Communities in Bloom small businesses contest and I said I would swing on by. I did try but she was closed the times I got there.

Today I was speaking to my ex on the telephone when he suddenly changed the topic out of the clear blue sky.

"Oh hmm. Sorry to interupt but I was talking to James and he goes to that same cafe you know the girl from."

uhm... yes?

"Sorry, I don't know how to tell you but she committed suicide."

"WHAT???"

I had just gotten in from my walk. I was relaxing. We were speaking of other things.
And *Wham*!

"Harm, I just wanted to let you know the thing for her is tomorrow. Sorry about telling you like this. "

I made my farewells and hung up. I drove down to the little cafe. Sure enough there was a sign on the door.

"Closed due to the unexpected passing of _________. Family and friends may pay their respects at ____ funeral home, July 29th, noon til 3."

I do not know if she was battling a mental illness as was suggested to me by someone else, or if life just overpowered her piling on and on. It is just such a shame. She was a real personality of this little town and her passing will be felt up and down the Island. A bright light extinguished needlessly.

Not long ago I was in her Cafe when she was ill from something else and had called 9-11 for her. I know the impending surgeries were difficult for her. I wish so many things at this moment. I had shared many a coffee with her and listened to her life tales. I am ten years older than her; ten years and ten thousand different experiences. She would often tell me I was a sleeper.

"You look so sensible. You look so straight. And truly, you are the biggest maniac of us all."
Haha! She saw through my cunning disguise.

Aww Miss Bee, you shouldn't oughta have done that!
What the hell am I going to tell Lady A.? She thinks she is scooping ice cream the month of august for you, and now I have to somehow explain why a wonderful woman like you would choose to end her life so finally and completely. Efficient, even in death.

You shouldn't oughta have done that!

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