She always thanks me so effusively...

We are regulars, she and I. We have a Sunday appointment for a shower. I guess on paper she must be incontinent or there would BE no daily showers. She is one of those people who really need support to stay in their homes independantly and we do not do a whole lot other than assist in the shower so she does not fall.

I admire this person tremendously as she is well aware of her declining health and can discuss it in rational terms without being maudlin or bitter. She really lives to the best of her ability. It is less and less beautiful for her but she finds moments in every day. That is all she can find. Moments.

We finish her shower and I clean up. I go and check out her kitchen and tidy a little. We have it down to a good routine now. She settles herself on her couch which is on concrete bricks now. This way she can sit on it without yoo much pain as she goes down, and she can get up without heaving herself or hoisting. She has a failing heart, kidneys at 12% function and a hip that was replaced after a bad fall that pains her no end. She is unable to deviate at all from a very strict diet. Her home is full of pictures of her husband now gone 8 years. Her journal sits on the hassock and it is titled: "Letters to Jim." She writes to her husband when things get too much to bear.

We always chat for a while as I can see she is such a people person. She tells me the greatest stories about things of long ago and I hang on her every word. She is really insightful.
Every day when I leave she gets up and sees me to the door. She then thanks me each time for the chat. Sometimes she says: "Thank you so much for listening to me. I really enjoyed our talk." I always tell her the truth: "It is totally MY pleasure and I thank you."
If I could get away with it I would bow. Actually I did bow a week or so ago and she laughed at me. I meant it though: complete respect.

I am seized with another idea.
I believe that my Sunday clientelle are failing. My regulars, 2 out of 3, are very much close to the time when they will NOT be on my schedule. I wish I had more time to listen to all that living history. I can only do my little thing one person at a time. Just one. And some days it is just one out of them all that I can give something of myself too. I get it back so very richly.

----