"I know what *it* was"

It was the first day in a long time that company was coming over, and she was not going to cook this time. She had some treats set aside, and all she needed me to do was peel some spuds for dinnertime. Not very taxing but you know, I just do what people need mostly. Whether at work or on my off hours if I can save someone elder some few steps I will. On the company dime, well we just dont tell, now do we?

Company was on the way! For her, this is a huge and momentous event!
I was determined her table was to be set all nicely.
She asked me something.
Answering, she came over to get something from the dining table.with this odd look on her face. She sat down abruptly. Whatever she was thinking about had taken her away from me. I longed to know where. Her colour was paling. She had that look I see when medications are not done on time. The "Help me I am in pain what can I do help me" look.

Not saying anything for a long minute so she could collect herself was an effort of will. Finally this:
"I have a sharp pain across my chest. Under my breasts."

We did deep breathing together as the minutes rolled on, and she SAID the pain was decreasing. She was lying. She _does not under any circumstances_ wish to go to the Hospital again. But it is her right to conduct herself as she sees fit.

"Can you raise your arms?"
--->yes she could.
"Is it better or worse when you do that?"
--->no effect.


-----*

Her lunch guest was expected and did not disappoint in promptness.

Company arrived in the form of the bappable woman. I quietly mentioned to this visitor that her friend and hostess was having some difficulties and that if it worsened would she should call her friend's daughter.

She said: "Yes of course."

I commented on how our mutual link had a fear of those 3 numbers: 9-1-1

The Visitor drew herself up to her full round plump and so supercilious length.
"Who wants to live forever?" she said.
"Of course she doesnt want to go to the hospital. How many times does a person want to be sustained? And for what? To come home and just live on like this?"

the "like this" dripped with distain.

My client sobbed quietly and said: "That's right' The tear shone in her eye.

Well fuck you suzy insensitive.
Fuck you and the horse you rode in on.

That stupid friend-- I could cheerfully take her outside and slap her on both cheeks.

Where is the hope in that? I think she can smell my disapproval. I am trying not to let it show but *grrrr*

My client promised me a few times to call her daughter if it worsened and to make sure not to leave it too far. Then she looked at me:
"Are you feeling well?"
I felt fine. But I did have no lipstick on. And my hair is a shade darker in spots since she last saw me.
"oh I think its just my hair. I was considering going streaked lighter but I decided to add some streaks of dark brown and black."

Her friend, the disapprover looked me up and down. She sniffed as she looked at me, really looked at me. Her pronouncement:

"Oh heavens you should NEVER let anyone tell you to go dark. Not at your age. Women are supposed to grow old gracefully."

Thus says Ms. 50+ to me. She is aging in a chubby way. A chubby outspokenly hopeless, drag ya down way.

As if I was not amazed enough she went on:
"Your lips should fade and your skin lighten as all the rest of you fades too. It is a natural process. When you go dark like that it just looks awful."

uhm, ok.
My tongue had some teethmarks, but I did manage not to say anything.
I just left and boggled some more about her complete tastelessness.

---*

The next time I looked in to this client, who thankfully was home and alive and well, I asked her if that heavy pain in her chest had persisted or if it had gone easily away.

"No it lasted for a few hours before it completely left but it's gone now."

---> did she think she might have pulled a muscle?
"No, *I* know what it was."

---> was it a spasm?
"NO. I know what *it* was. I have had them before."

Her daughter arrived just as she told me she had told her daughter. On cue.
So I asked the daughter if her mom had told her what happened yesterday.
'No, she didn't tell me. What happened Mom?"

Turns out, the client has nitro spray right there on the table in a box.
This is to be used when she gets chest pains. Once, wait. Twice, wait. And if the pain does not go away, three times. Then call 9-1-1 if it continues.

Maybe my client thinks like her friend.
To be revived for what? More of the same?

I go there 5 to 7 times a week and this is the first I have heard about the nitro spray. We all have the right to choose but when a person is cognitively and negatively affected by memory loss it is right not to hand them the damned spray?

And the stupid-ass friend?
oh I meant, the woman who says much.

She lost her husband in a sudden and unexpected heart attack 4 months ago.
So I shall cut her a break. She is not thinking with her head. She is still processing loss.
I wish she would go process it somewhere else.
I don't think she would be handing the spray over.
I really do not.

---