If its Saturday....

The wonderful rhythmn of routine. I love it. Boring old sod that I am. I take comfort and joy in doing the same things happily. mmmm routine.

We breakfast at the local A & W where they use real eggs and real bacon and we can practically FEEL our arteries hardening. Today I went for the French Toast and Bacon and used extra real butter on them. MMMM butter. Naturally I was driving the family car, the car that ISNT mine, the car I DONT pay gasoline bills on and the car I could never in my wildest dreams afford... yes DAD's car.... and we left our doggies in there after a nice walk. I have screens for the windows that keep the sun from beating in and making things too hot for them and I also drape a towel over the window where the sun is shining most toward. Dad hates this because it looks trashy. I have no such qualms. Functionality is more important to me than form. And I do not really care what people think about it as the dog's health and safety comes first.

Part of why this is important to me is that one of the key ways in which I see changes in my parent is in the judgement department. Last year when health problems took my license, I was driven by my parent to the Regional Hospital for a CT Scan. Parking was an issue so I got out and went into my appointment and did not see where parking was chosen until we got out.

There was a note scribbled by a furious hand on the car, which was parked in FULL SUN, and the window cracked 1/4" if that. It read: "You IDIOT! You should be in that car. People like you should not be allowed to own animals." It had not occured to me that judgement was an issue until that occasion. And it has gotten much much worse.

I know if it were not for my very wonderful Sister coming over each weekend I would be in dire straits. My burden, although self-imposed has been long and wearisome. I was so happy when he married. And then that horrid woman off-loaded every undesireable aspect of her relationship onto ME. DUTY, you know. It has been seven years of having a very needy parent leaning hard on me. In many ways the last six months have been the easiest as he is free in his own place now, and my sister visits often. I wish the previous six years had not worn me out but they have in many ways. Helping someone disentangle from an abusive arrangement is thankless. You get reflected anger directed towards you that is misplaced. But it has to go somewhere and you are the most convenient place.

It is clear that what is needed and what is wanted and what can be done are three very different things. It is also clear that it is going to cost every single nickel to maintain the King on his Throne. What a shame his marriage did not work out. In many ways what he needs is a good wife.

Saturdays are cool though, I like them tons.
Thanks C.L.

*hug*