It is one of those things you recognise after a time; a sign as it were.
Generally it is an older woman in her 90s, but sometimes younger, who likes to sit in her housecoat and just wait. They do not tend to watch television or do crafts, they just wait.
If you were to ask them if they wanted help getting dressed they would politely respond: "Not today, dear" or some other polite refusal. Alot of them read but generally it is the same book or books at their side week after month after year.
If there are family members who drop in or God forbid, live with them, a frustration tends to develop over this change. Sometimes those feelings get transferred onto others, say ME. I generally shrug it off but sometimes, it gets under my skin.
I do understand, somewhat, the rational of the client as I have seen it so very many times. Family members want to think that the job of the HealthCare system is to motivate their Mother/Father/Uncle/whoever into doing what it is they want them to. Or forcing them to do something. It ain't me babe. I still believe the client's right to refuse supercedes all. After all, who hired us? Usually not the one in the Housecoat.
Family members want everything to be safe and secure and the way it always has been. But people change and that's normal. For every housecoat-wearing waiter, I have 15 or 20 vibrant 90 year olds out and about doing as much as they can.
And that's great too. But some of us are just tired and waiting.
And there is nothing wrong with that either. No matter what family members think do or say.
I have two of these sorts of clients on the same day.
Both of these women are elderly and mostly healthy.
Both of these women have serious memory loss, but not longterm memory loss.
I can go to either one of them and be filled with a spirit of love as I see the natural fruition of a live well-lived and well-loved.
These clients are very content with their lots in life.
Both of them have a son in the picture.
One son sighs and moans and complains about his own ailments and can't even manage to keep the kitchen clean after he makes toast, the other son makes mom breakfast and sighs also but without complaint. Both of their mothers are appreciative and happy.
Both of their mothers love to chat endlessly. They are self-actualised and really just sharing their wisdom. Granted, the stories are repetitious, but they don't know that. It is always new to them! Each one of these sons sees a situation differently although in reality, it is so very similar. Both of their mothers really just need companionship more than anything else.
Again we come back to grace.
One exercises it. The other expects it.
Isaiah 40:31 - But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.