23.4.08

The Companion Checks In


My little friend has been mostly quiet lately for which I am grateful. Last week I had one full day of not being able to accomplish anything but it was only one day, and a dark room and bed rest seemed to work.

The companion behaves if I do. Any deviation from routine can be dangerous. Most dangerous of all is the flashing lights and noise intrusions. These are things I absolutely cannot tolerate well. I love to play pinball and own a few machines. These I can handle. But I don't have them all playing at the same time. In fact, due to space issues around here, they are in storage. *sniff* I play my DS these days but it isnt the same.

I have trained my brain to register conversations as white noise but certain voices transcend the barrier. One of these voices belongs to someone close to me. The idea of tonal modulation never occurs naturally to this person, even when suggested. This is where earplugs come in handy. After a long afternoon of pleasant although very loud togetherness I had to come home. My jaw had already clenched and my eyes were very disturbed. I had left it too long.

Later- There was a terrible commotion going on around me. Trying to break free of the chaos and get somewhere quiet before the headache hit, I struggled to find my car. It was missing. Second choice was a quiet room. I was in some strange bathroom quietly moaning waiting for the storm to pass. The hours were slow in passing. My discomfort did not lift. I decided that I had better find a telephone and call 9-1-1 but I could not even see the numbers through the pain. Eventually I vomited and fell down.

Coming to my senses, I was in my bed, fully clothed with my doggie guarding me. My eyes refused to stay focused and open and a metallic taste was in my mouth. My parched throat accepted 1/2 liter of cool water. My feet were twitching and my legs were very heavy. I had the after-effects of cramp along my calves. The clock said 6 am. It took me quite a few minutes to realize that the car flurry and the bathroom incident were not real but dreams of the very troubled night before. The companion had checked in.