I belong to no blog community and I expect no comments.
This blog is where I let it out. Those things that oppress me.
If I did not, I would not be able to work effectively in my chosen field.
Prior to this blog, there was another which I deleted in a fit of pique.
Prior to that blog, there were reams of notebooks which I burned also in a fit of pique. It is risky documenting truths.
Online is more permanent but really.... I never use real names only situations.
I rarely. if ever, talk about personal stuff other than the bare bones.
My friends do not feature in my blog.
Not normally at least. Today is an exception.
This was one hell of a day.
First up:
I have a friend I rarely see due to our conflicting schedules and lifestyles.
We are church friends and family friends not really what you would call personal friends. I ran into him today. I asked after his wife.
*faint*
His wife was depressed for years, perhaps decades with much pharmaceutical intervention involved. Even SSRI's did not seem to put a dent in her long slide down. He was despairing for some time now as to whether he could live the rest of his life with her. She does not work. She does not cook nor clean. She goes for holidays with him but even then its dismal. He has been wrestling with the divorce demon for a long long time. He is a Christian.
A routine eye exam showed swelling behind her eye. Her eye doctor got her a same-day appointment with a specialist in the big city. The specialist sent her for a same-day MRI. The hospital admitted her and she wound up off for surgery. BRAIN SURGERY. A ten pound tumour was removed from her right frontal lobe.
Now I had to blink a few times to get my head around that.
Ten pounds?
If they had gone on holiday as planned without that eye exam which she almost did not go to, she would be dead. The pressure was critical.
So: is life better now?
No. He is depressed. He is angry. He does not know where to turn.
She is still behaving very badly. The Healthcare team did not provide followup counselling for him or her.
I just listened in horror.
I will try to hook him up with someone.
Counsellor or Mental health or some bloody person.
It is just so sad :(
-----
So I digest that..... and it didn't go down well.... and I go to my friend's house and ask her if she wants to go coffee-ing. She gets a phonecall.
She disappears for 1/2 hour. Her daughter and I sit chatting. She returns looking stunned. We go for coffee.
Who was on the telephone?
Why Family Services of course.
Seems that her ex-husband who can't seem to pay his child support wrote them a letter telling them he felt pressured by them and was going to buy a gun.
Yes. A gun.
The saddest part of this story is that after 90 minutes of coffeeing, I still had not convinced her to go to the Police and have an active file.
He has threatened her in the past.
He was a violent husband with a volatile temper.
She got out of the marriage via a safe house although they are still not divorced ten years down the road. She is afraid to set him off.
She only wants her children to be safe. She does not seem to understand that as long as he is calling the shots they are never safe.
Oh and yes.... 2 out of 3 of them see their father regularly.
The 3rd refuses to as he has been abusive to her.
My friend thinks that now they are all teenagers things will be better.
I told her that as long as he has to pay her money, this will go on.
He has a great job and makes alot of money but he does not feel he should pay anything. He doesn't consider himself abusive. In fact he likes to tell people she is abusive. So he doesn't pay ensuring the pressure builds... and Family Maintenance Services get on his case and .....
Another circle.
The world is crazy.
I am not perfect either.
But I thank God that I am not in either of those two situations.
God help them because all I can do is listen.
I feel impotent.
And you know what? I believe my friend may end up dead.
It is a cycle this violence.
It makes me ..... feel impotent.
(sigh)
