--- Euphemisms

Oh dear oh dear, what a state I find myself in.
And no, not Kansas.

Sitting with a very proper very elderly Lady, who does not want to bathe or shower with assistance THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH! We brought in a bathchair thinking it would help alleviate her concerns that she might fall in the shower. She likes the bench but does not wish to use it during a worker visit.

Perhaps one month ago, possibly more, I managed to assist her to dress only because her children were there and insisting she take help. On sufference I was able to be of some help and during this time it was unmistakeable how little she washes. Elderly people can experience a diminishment of their sense of smell and really not know they might possibly not be the freshest. The trick is telling them without mortally offending them. I opted to put it in the client notes but I struggled for a euphemism as this book stays in the client home. I was polite in my comment but the gentle word for *smells very strongly* would not come to mind. Naturally this came back to bite me.

Today as she spoke and I tried valiantly and vainly to get her to bathe while I was there for safety reasons, she just kept repeating no no and no she is too tired, it's too early, she isn't in the mood... etc. Next thing I know she is telling me this long convoluted story about these upstart people who just write things for devilment. "All lies", she said, "Lies!"

I had a baaaad feeling.

"You know what someone wrote in there? They wrote that I had an oderous smell "down below" do you know that? What a horrible thing to write about someone. They just do it to make trouble you know."

Okay so it was an unfortunate euphemism.
She smelled really bad but I think she just didnt change her garments nor wash.
My concern was infection of the bladder but it was just plain suspect hygiene.

Next time... well hmm. There won't be a next time.
I am going to invent a catch-phrase for this.
Something like: "Client has a definite silk and satin."
Or something equally obtuse.
What is cockney for stink?
Bottle and ink?
Kitchen sink?
Out on the link?

bah

btw---I ripped that page of the notes out and took it with me.
All she can read about now is how lovely a chat we all have with her and how she wont bathe that day thanks so much!

Jingle Bells... smells!
Fid fad ... Bad!