6.2.06

Those boys in their 50s

What is it about boys and their mamas?
Some boys never leave home.
Some boys come back home and stay home.
And some....

In my job we meet alot of family members.
This is normal considering we are entering into client's homes.
In this area many of those clients are widows well into their 80's or 90's.
Surprisingly many of them come complete with single never-married bachelor boy sons.
Some of them are obviously never going to marry, and some of them are just sad sorry messes of neuroses, but some.... some just defy description.

Early in the week and already I have seen some incredibly bizarre behaviours.
I have a wonderfully eccentric lady on my list who is so delightful.
And peculiar. Like me. But 50 years later.
I remembered her well the moment I entered the apartment.
She had surrounded herself with the most interesting books and tapestries and carpets and always was msot engaging verbally. She did not remember me until we began to discuss her tapestry, and she commented that the only other person who had known how to date them was.... oh "it was YOU!" She was very pleased.
I think I was there years ago to change her dressings or check on a recent surgery.
I am not working in that scope now. I am just there to be present while she showers.
I am not there to bully her into a shower, nor to drag her kicking and screaming...
I am there to assist her if she will allow it. It is her choice.

She plays this waiting game to suss out who the person is.
If you pass the test she showers. If not, she doesn't.
I already knew she would shower. I also knew she was having a great time talking to me and that likely it would be another half hour before she would want to get up.

Enter the Son.
"Mother you told me you do not wish to be a burden. Well you're being a burden now."
What a jerk!
"Don't worry," I said, "She will shower."

"YOU don't seem to understand that you are probably the fifth or sixth person that is witness to her behaviour and you'll talk the hour away and then you'll go and she won't shower."
"She will shower, please don't worry. We are just having a chat first."
He looked me up and down and told me imperiously that "the rule is: shower first, chat later."
His mom looked at him and said: "I love you dear but I don't have to do what you say."

Remember: this is HER house. He is the one who moved in.
He left and re-entered more than a few times.
He slammed the doors and haroomphed and went in the second bedroom and out the back door... and so on. There is a fire exit out the back with outside stairs to the car-park. He kept going in and out and giving us both the evil eye.

I did not care for him at all.
Not even a little bit.
She did shower, but even then, he came back in during the shower and shouted at her through the door saying it was hardly sufficient.
I was not sorry to leave him. Felt sorry for her though.

Then... today...

One of my girls told me that she was at a client's home in beautiful downtown chi-chi area of our town, and there was a strange sound out the window.
The client lives in a very desirable area of town in a gorgeous three storey walk-up.
She lives on the second floor. The sound was coming from above. As there has been alot of rain this week and wind, the girl was afraid the roof had failed or a pipe had burst or some such thing. She located the source of the sound and it was OUTside. Coming from above.

The son of client #1 was pissing out the window.....

okay that's just plain weird.

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