A small but very cute black dog sits wagging his tail. He is delighted.
All around the room, people are in varying states of emotional turmoil.
The dog does not seem to be affected adversely by the outpouring of sentiments.
I went outside to see what the ruckus was. The neighbourhood dogs all seemed to have joined a chorus, but over their barking I could hear a girl's voice calling: "Tucker! Tucker!"
She had been told time and again to always put her dog on a leash, but, she reasoned, she was only going to the trash bin at the end of the complex where she lived and that would make a nice little walk for her dog. Somewhere along the way, a little brown bunny panicked and jumped out of the bushes. The dog, sensing a welcome opportunity for a run, took chase.
Right at that moment one of her neighbours pulled in and I walked outside to see what the fuss was. Thankfully I held up my hand to the incoming car and it stopped just in time.
A small black dog and a smaller bunny raced past her car, oblivious.
The girlwent running after her dog but it was too late. The neighbour went driving around to look for the dog. I opened my back gate and my back door as the dog seems to like the little lane behind us. I have spotted him there offleash more than a few times.
The girl was so distraught she was praying out loud inbetween sobs.
I took her in my car and we drove up and down the streets with the window down. She called and called. The biggest concern was that the dog would go towards the Highway in the throes of animal instinct. He was too excited to heed any danger signs.
After an hour, during which time I took her home twice to check if the dog had returned.
He hadn't. I told her that he would come home eventually and probably be very affectionate
and quiet for awhile.
As we pulled in the carpark, the neighbour drove past. She rolled down her window and called to the girl. "He's home. I put him in your house."
The little girl thanked me and the other neighbour and went red-eyed into her house.
That little dog isn't even remotely remorseful. He looked rather pleased with himself last I saw.
-------------------------------------
If you define cowardice as running away at the first sign of danger, screaming and tripping and begging for mercy, then yes, Mister Brave Man, I guess I am a coward.
- Jack Handey
25.4.05
Memory Lapse
Generally it is the client that has the memory lapse. Not always though.
A few months ago I received a terse message on both my cellphone voice mail and my home# from the Nursing Supervisor for one of the Regions. A big cheese.
"Good Morning, how did your visit with Mr. Jones go?"
"Mr. Jones?? What visit is that?"
"Didn't you go to Mr. Jones on Sunday?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because he is not on my schedule. Was I supposed to?"
She sounded very angry.
I was a tad dismayed that her opening line was asking how the visit went when obviously she knew very well I had not gone at all. Is that how they think of me?
---sigh---
Turned out it was not my fault although poor Mr. Jones had been laying in bed waiting for SOMEONE to show up. Noone did. I think he lay there until the next day. As badly as I feel for Mr. Jones, I couldn't have done anything differently. Someone forgot to call me and add him to my schedule.
Frequently with add-ons, the client will be just a one-time visit.
Frequently but NOT always.
I went today to a lovely woman who had surgery a few weeks ago. I met her on Thursday 2 weeks ago for her first visit. Today she asked me why noone came last Thursday.
I had a baaaad feeling.
She had called in but only on Saturday which of course is useless.
I told her anytime someone doesnt who when she is expecting them, call the Office and ask for Scheduling. It means that either the Scheduler or the Nurse/Intake/Worker has made an error.
Apparantly this was my error. I am sure I must have been told to add her permanently but I sure don't remember. I know the Scheduler thinks she added her.
All it takes is one person to call in sick or one client to have an emergency discharge to home with support services of 2+ times daily to screw the whole works up.
Luckily this was a low priority task or this woman would have been raising hell I am sure.
I must be getting old. (er)
-------------------------
Dory: " I suffer from short term memory loss. It runs in my family... At least I think it does... Where are they?" (Finding Nemo)
A few months ago I received a terse message on both my cellphone voice mail and my home# from the Nursing Supervisor for one of the Regions. A big cheese.
"Good Morning, how did your visit with Mr. Jones go?"
"Mr. Jones?? What visit is that?"
"Didn't you go to Mr. Jones on Sunday?"
"No."
"Why not?"
"Because he is not on my schedule. Was I supposed to?"
She sounded very angry.
I was a tad dismayed that her opening line was asking how the visit went when obviously she knew very well I had not gone at all. Is that how they think of me?
---sigh---
Turned out it was not my fault although poor Mr. Jones had been laying in bed waiting for SOMEONE to show up. Noone did. I think he lay there until the next day. As badly as I feel for Mr. Jones, I couldn't have done anything differently. Someone forgot to call me and add him to my schedule.
Frequently with add-ons, the client will be just a one-time visit.
Frequently but NOT always.
I went today to a lovely woman who had surgery a few weeks ago. I met her on Thursday 2 weeks ago for her first visit. Today she asked me why noone came last Thursday.
I had a baaaad feeling.
She had called in but only on Saturday which of course is useless.
I told her anytime someone doesnt who when she is expecting them, call the Office and ask for Scheduling. It means that either the Scheduler or the Nurse/Intake/Worker has made an error.
Apparantly this was my error. I am sure I must have been told to add her permanently but I sure don't remember. I know the Scheduler thinks she added her.
All it takes is one person to call in sick or one client to have an emergency discharge to home with support services of 2+ times daily to screw the whole works up.
Luckily this was a low priority task or this woman would have been raising hell I am sure.
I must be getting old. (er)
-------------------------
Dory: " I suffer from short term memory loss. It runs in my family... At least I think it does... Where are they?" (Finding Nemo)
21.4.05
The Professional
As I was stopping by my Church today I passed the Professional.
She was assisting a most elderly woman into the Church Office.
She had parked right next to me.
The Professional has a funny habit.
She befriends older people who are alone.
She comes onboard like gangbusters.
And when they go on to the next world,.....
Her profession?
She is a professional inheritor.
Every time I see her I am reminded of how the Queen referred to Diana.
"Evil among us."
--------------------------
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." - Blaise Pascal
She was assisting a most elderly woman into the Church Office.
She had parked right next to me.
The Professional has a funny habit.
She befriends older people who are alone.
She comes onboard like gangbusters.
And when they go on to the next world,.....
Her profession?
She is a professional inheritor.
Every time I see her I am reminded of how the Queen referred to Diana.
"Evil among us."
--------------------------
"Men never do evil so completely and cheerfully as when they do it from religious conviction." - Blaise Pascal
Axel grease
He came to the Office earlier in the week. He was wearing a button-up workshirt that had seen better decades. His face had smears of black on it. He had the same smears all through the hair on his head. He couldn't hear very well, he said, because his ears were plugged up with wax.
He wanted to know if we could help him. He had come over from a very small Island where he lived because the lice were getting to him. The axel grease was supposed to be a remedy but it had stopped working.
We tried to find a Doctor who would see him. Who COULD see him.
The administrative staff called every single Doctor in town. Noone could see him.
He had gone to the walk-in clinic but they had sent him to us.
A whole medical building of Doctors and Nurses and Administrators. This man did not get help. He was sent to the thrift store to buy a sleeping bag because he would not be able to get back to the Island after dark. As far as we know he slept in the park.
He was born in 1913. He had never had a Medical Card in his life. Never used the system at all. It was just the lice were getting to him.
Mister, I hope you hooked up with the Salvation Army or a Church. He needed medical services and got nothing but empty words. Even with all the Nurses on staff noone touched him.
The man needed a shower and a fresh change of clothes. He needed someone to oil his ears and show him how to do that himself to loosen any debris. It would come out naturally with a good shower after a week of being oiled. He needed someone to comb out his hair and send him home with a comb so he could do it himself.
He got words.
God forbid we actually practice on those who need it.
I am ashamed that we are government employees.
This man is a citizen for 92 years and the best we can do is talk his head off.
-------------
He wanted to know if we could help him. He had come over from a very small Island where he lived because the lice were getting to him. The axel grease was supposed to be a remedy but it had stopped working.
We tried to find a Doctor who would see him. Who COULD see him.
The administrative staff called every single Doctor in town. Noone could see him.
He had gone to the walk-in clinic but they had sent him to us.
A whole medical building of Doctors and Nurses and Administrators. This man did not get help. He was sent to the thrift store to buy a sleeping bag because he would not be able to get back to the Island after dark. As far as we know he slept in the park.
He was born in 1913. He had never had a Medical Card in his life. Never used the system at all. It was just the lice were getting to him.
Mister, I hope you hooked up with the Salvation Army or a Church. He needed medical services and got nothing but empty words. Even with all the Nurses on staff noone touched him.
The man needed a shower and a fresh change of clothes. He needed someone to oil his ears and show him how to do that himself to loosen any debris. It would come out naturally with a good shower after a week of being oiled. He needed someone to comb out his hair and send him home with a comb so he could do it himself.
He got words.
God forbid we actually practice on those who need it.
I am ashamed that we are government employees.
This man is a citizen for 92 years and the best we can do is talk his head off.
-------------
17.4.05
Last day at home.... nice to meet you.
A few years ago I had a very elderly lady on my roster. She lived with her sister, who was 3 years younger, and her son. I was amazed at her recovery. She was 92 at the time, and had just undergone surgery after a bad fall. I went off the night shift and never saw her again although from time to time I would see her name here and there on worker sheets.
This morning before I even had a chance to start my cellphone rang while I was driving.
After pulling over (and missing the call) I used my caller ID to return the call to the oncall scheduler who was rather surprised. I bet she doesnt know about *98
"I just missed your call. Sorry.. did you need me for something?"
"Oh dear. Noone is where they are supposed to be and I can't reach anyone today. I need someone to go to (ladys name). It is palliative care."
It was the sister. The door was locked but the son was in the carpark so he let me in.
I went in to the bedroom and the thin little lady there was a little surprised to see me.
Poor little maiden lady in her mid-90s requiring personal care by a total stranger.
"I am going into the Lodge tomorrow. "
"oh? You chose that now?"
"No no I had no choice. The Doctor said I HAD to go. My sister is already there you know."
"I did not know. Thank you for telling me."
These two sisters in their late 90s still have dark hair and beautiful skin.
Amazing.
Not that I did a bad job but it was a little awkward not being her regular person and not knowing her habits. She was very gracious.
Bless her heart.
--------------
This morning before I even had a chance to start my cellphone rang while I was driving.
After pulling over (and missing the call) I used my caller ID to return the call to the oncall scheduler who was rather surprised. I bet she doesnt know about *98
"I just missed your call. Sorry.. did you need me for something?"
"Oh dear. Noone is where they are supposed to be and I can't reach anyone today. I need someone to go to (ladys name). It is palliative care."
It was the sister. The door was locked but the son was in the carpark so he let me in.
I went in to the bedroom and the thin little lady there was a little surprised to see me.
Poor little maiden lady in her mid-90s requiring personal care by a total stranger.
"I am going into the Lodge tomorrow. "
"oh? You chose that now?"
"No no I had no choice. The Doctor said I HAD to go. My sister is already there you know."
"I did not know. Thank you for telling me."
These two sisters in their late 90s still have dark hair and beautiful skin.
Amazing.
Not that I did a bad job but it was a little awkward not being her regular person and not knowing her habits. She was very gracious.
Bless her heart.
--------------
Preacher-man comes a callin'
Spring in the air and hope.
I see newness all around me. People feel good when the flowers start to bloom.
People at the end of their lives perk up considerably.
One of the primary complaints I hear in my clients is loneliness. Coping with the ravages of disease or just plain old age is a lonely business. Even lonelier when you are on your own anyway. One of the nicest things a person can do is visit. Just show up.
One of the people in the community who routinely shows up is the Pastor, or Rabbi or Priest.
Today I was with my client who battles multiple myloma. She is holding her own against all odds. Her doctor told her 2 weeks ago he wished he could take her around to all the Palliative Units and show her off to the Doctors so they could see HOW well she is doing.
Her Pastor came a-callin' yesterday.
This is a man who serves God in a community with a disproportionate number of seniors.
He has clearly lost more than a few sheep from his flock.
He comes to visit and sits himself down. He coordinated his visit to coincide with a visit from my clients daughter. He looks at the daughter, looks to the client and says:
"So, have they told you how long you have?"
I kid you not.
I asked my client what sort of thing was said in return.
"I didn't say anything at all. And from now on I am not home to Pastors. He is too busy planning my memorial to hear or see me."
I think so too.
--------------------
"Remember, when you're driving through Amish country and you see a man with his arm up a horses ass... he's a mechanic."- Robin Williams
I see newness all around me. People feel good when the flowers start to bloom.
People at the end of their lives perk up considerably.
One of the primary complaints I hear in my clients is loneliness. Coping with the ravages of disease or just plain old age is a lonely business. Even lonelier when you are on your own anyway. One of the nicest things a person can do is visit. Just show up.
One of the people in the community who routinely shows up is the Pastor, or Rabbi or Priest.
Today I was with my client who battles multiple myloma. She is holding her own against all odds. Her doctor told her 2 weeks ago he wished he could take her around to all the Palliative Units and show her off to the Doctors so they could see HOW well she is doing.
Her Pastor came a-callin' yesterday.
This is a man who serves God in a community with a disproportionate number of seniors.
He has clearly lost more than a few sheep from his flock.
He comes to visit and sits himself down. He coordinated his visit to coincide with a visit from my clients daughter. He looks at the daughter, looks to the client and says:
"So, have they told you how long you have?"
I kid you not.
I asked my client what sort of thing was said in return.
"I didn't say anything at all. And from now on I am not home to Pastors. He is too busy planning my memorial to hear or see me."
I think so too.
--------------------
"Remember, when you're driving through Amish country and you see a man with his arm up a horses ass... he's a mechanic."- Robin Williams
14.4.05
Its tiring....
I came home yesterday from a particularly trying week.
It is not physically trying. It is mentally gruelling.
Of my own clientelle there were 4 deaths in the last 2 weeks.
Only one of those deaths was expected.
I read the 5th death in the paper. Noone called to tell me. Who am I after all? Just the person who filled in the hours a couple of days a week. The person who heard all the cherished dreams that never were, the person who listened to the hopes that were never to be fulfilled.
The person who leaves to go home and never again is thought of by the family in their catastrophic loss.
I wish SOMEONE would tell me these things before I read them in the press.
It kind of hurts.
I put the newspaper down and lay on the couch. I slept for 3.5 hours and then got up and went to bed to sleep another 9 hours. It was like falling down a very deep well.
--------------------
It is not physically trying. It is mentally gruelling.
Of my own clientelle there were 4 deaths in the last 2 weeks.
Only one of those deaths was expected.
I read the 5th death in the paper. Noone called to tell me. Who am I after all? Just the person who filled in the hours a couple of days a week. The person who heard all the cherished dreams that never were, the person who listened to the hopes that were never to be fulfilled.
The person who leaves to go home and never again is thought of by the family in their catastrophic loss.
I wish SOMEONE would tell me these things before I read them in the press.
It kind of hurts.
I put the newspaper down and lay on the couch. I slept for 3.5 hours and then got up and went to bed to sleep another 9 hours. It was like falling down a very deep well.
--------------------
12.4.05
I'm awaiting my visitation
It is cold; April 12th and cold. My fingers are cold. My feet are cold. My heart is beating slowly from the cold.
After a week of ailing, I am feeling better except for this coldness.
I was snacking on a yoghurt when suddenly I felt the urge for a cheesebun. I was tucking away the cheesebun when chocolate chips came to my mind and lips. Pretzels. Cheerios.
Another yoghurt. More cheese.
Yup, still cold.
The timechange wreaks havoc with my system. Instead of awakening at 5am it is 6.
Instead of the leisurely lounging about at the beach before work,it is a drive sipping coffee.
Perhaps this weekend I can get myself straightened out.
First though, I want to warm up.
------------
"In the cool, cool night
And in the middle of the day
Im watching my back
Im waiting my visitation ... " snipped from Frank Black (album) "Cult of Ray" (song) 'Men in Black'
After a week of ailing, I am feeling better except for this coldness.
I was snacking on a yoghurt when suddenly I felt the urge for a cheesebun. I was tucking away the cheesebun when chocolate chips came to my mind and lips. Pretzels. Cheerios.
Another yoghurt. More cheese.
Yup, still cold.
The timechange wreaks havoc with my system. Instead of awakening at 5am it is 6.
Instead of the leisurely lounging about at the beach before work,it is a drive sipping coffee.
Perhaps this weekend I can get myself straightened out.
First though, I want to warm up.
------------
"In the cool, cool night
And in the middle of the day
Im watching my back
Im waiting my visitation ... " snipped from Frank Black (album) "Cult of Ray" (song) 'Men in Black'
Studying Science from above
When a client goes into hospital, if it is just a temporary stay, they show up on the schedule as time reserved. I will get sent other places but that time is held for them until they come out again. I had my Mondays and Thursdays held for the very nice gentleman who had a minor stroke.
Today's paper contained his obituary. I was a little surprised as this man is only 66 which is young by our standards. Most of my clientelle is over 80 with a fair sprinkling of 90 yr olds and one or two in their hundreds. Still he is gone. Only 66.
The botany lessons in the forest trails are over; now he is learning from the Master.
Damn I wish someone would tell me these things before I read them in the paper. That is two people this week that I had no expectation of their imminent demise, imminently demising.
I wish I had something profound to say to express this loss.
The fact is, I am just very surprised. And sad.
---------------
Deception about our feelings will result in bondage. Truth, however, can free us.
--------
Creator,
God,
You gave us a wonderful gift when you gave us the capacity to feel.
You gave us the ability to laugh, to celebrate and to love.
You also gave us the ability to be angry at injustice, to fear danger and to grieve over our losses.
Give us wisdom to respect our feelings as they come and go.
Give us honesty to live with our feelings and to talk to you and others about them.
Give us compassion to care for each other when feelings are intense.
We ask this in the name of Jesus who wept when it was time for weeping. Amen
Today's paper contained his obituary. I was a little surprised as this man is only 66 which is young by our standards. Most of my clientelle is over 80 with a fair sprinkling of 90 yr olds and one or two in their hundreds. Still he is gone. Only 66.
The botany lessons in the forest trails are over; now he is learning from the Master.
Damn I wish someone would tell me these things before I read them in the paper. That is two people this week that I had no expectation of their imminent demise, imminently demising.
I wish I had something profound to say to express this loss.
The fact is, I am just very surprised. And sad.
---------------
Deception about our feelings will result in bondage. Truth, however, can free us.
--------
Creator,
God,
You gave us a wonderful gift when you gave us the capacity to feel.
You gave us the ability to laugh, to celebrate and to love.
You also gave us the ability to be angry at injustice, to fear danger and to grieve over our losses.
Give us wisdom to respect our feelings as they come and go.
Give us honesty to live with our feelings and to talk to you and others about them.
Give us compassion to care for each other when feelings are intense.
We ask this in the name of Jesus who wept when it was time for weeping. Amen
11.4.05
Finally: I find my peer group!
Here I thought I was a one-off.
Perhaps one of a lost tribe.
People who come to my home, admittedly not many, either think of it as very odd or very cool.
Mostly it is the clocks they wonder about. Why do I need so many.
Need?
Victoriana is how some sum my taste up. It's just me.
Me and a few other n(word for persons in their 90s)-genarians.
Today I had the great pleasure of meeting a woman with compatible taste to my own.
It was so satisfying watching her watching me.
I know it sounds peculiar but there is a palatable pleasure in appreciation.
We were walking past her grande piano and I commented on the Liberace-worthy chandelier that graced its' body. Mmmm piano. Mmmm, crystal.
Past the icons in the hall. Past the gilt mirrors and the watercoloured landscapes, the shelves of leatherbound books the wrought iron settee... etc etc
I looked out the back windows to the 7th green. Light and space.
Not only was her home beautiful, it was livable. And obviously well-used.
We talked about many things; mostly she criticized the state of healthcare.
Not me or my co-workers, the whole Healthcare Industry.
She is a person who strongly believes in holistic medicine.
She did have surgery recently but it was absolutely essential.
Now that she is home, she is working hard at recovery.
I was very happy that she has a health-minded approach to life. She takes greens to replenish her deficiencies. She walks as she can. She plays bridge regularly.
I thought she was around 78, perhaps as much as 81.
She is 93.
YOU GO!!
Boy, I love to see people enjoying their retirements.
Nevermind retirement, enjoying their lives.
I hope she stays as present as she is now, all the days of her life.
-----------------------
“If [dabbling in art] didn’t amuse me, I beg you to believe that I wouldn’t do it.” Renoir
Perhaps one of a lost tribe.
People who come to my home, admittedly not many, either think of it as very odd or very cool.
Mostly it is the clocks they wonder about. Why do I need so many.
Need?
Victoriana is how some sum my taste up. It's just me.
Me and a few other n(word for persons in their 90s)-genarians.
Today I had the great pleasure of meeting a woman with compatible taste to my own.
It was so satisfying watching her watching me.
I know it sounds peculiar but there is a palatable pleasure in appreciation.
We were walking past her grande piano and I commented on the Liberace-worthy chandelier that graced its' body. Mmmm piano. Mmmm, crystal.
Past the icons in the hall. Past the gilt mirrors and the watercoloured landscapes, the shelves of leatherbound books the wrought iron settee... etc etc
I looked out the back windows to the 7th green. Light and space.
Not only was her home beautiful, it was livable. And obviously well-used.
We talked about many things; mostly she criticized the state of healthcare.
Not me or my co-workers, the whole Healthcare Industry.
She is a person who strongly believes in holistic medicine.
She did have surgery recently but it was absolutely essential.
Now that she is home, she is working hard at recovery.
I was very happy that she has a health-minded approach to life. She takes greens to replenish her deficiencies. She walks as she can. She plays bridge regularly.
I thought she was around 78, perhaps as much as 81.
She is 93.
YOU GO!!
Boy, I love to see people enjoying their retirements.
Nevermind retirement, enjoying their lives.
I hope she stays as present as she is now, all the days of her life.
-----------------------
“If [dabbling in art] didn’t amuse me, I beg you to believe that I wouldn’t do it.” Renoir
10.4.05
Getting your heart's desire
There was a client who I had conflict with when I first began my Community rotations.
The basic trouble was my not understanding what it was I was supposed to be doing there.
It seemed so silly and she was so capable. Why we were there was not clear.
She complained about me and I was yanked from her schedule.
A few months later she showed up on my night schedule.
I would tell her to get up and get moving or one day she would not be able to.
"oh honey, I know you mean well but you don't understand, I just can't."
"oh yes you can. You won't. Come on get up and I will take you out for dinner."
By golly if she didn't get up and dressed and out we went.
Thereafter once a month I would take her out for dinner. I was able to do this as I was scheduled to be her dinner girl and her nighttime girl. This was a total of 1.25 hours.
I also had my dinner break in there. So I lumped them together and I took her to various restaurants around the area. Inevitably she would suggest places I never would go to.
Why? Because I can't afford to. But there was an opportunity for me as a person not as an employee or a Nurse or anything else, just me as a person to reach out and touch someone.
Naturally she would forget her wallet or be short on cash so early on, in fact from the very beginning I just budgetted this in my month. She would always protest but I knew she knew I knew..... (etc etc) We would be served. This *Served* part was very important to her.
I believe this was the key thing that she liked about being sick. Someone comes in and serves you. If you get better, say goodbye to all the attention.
I would talk to her about her family and her life and her loves. She had a wonderful childhood and a mother who was fabulous. She was spoiled of course. Once she went out in the world she met a fellow who was charming but completely irresponsible. They married and had children and made a go of it until she found out how much money he owed her parents.
A few rough years on her own and then she met the love of her life. He was an older man who adored her. They had some great years and then suddenly he died.
"A part of me died that day honey. There will never be anyone else for me."
"Dont say that! You dont know what is around the next corner."
"Yes I do. I just wish it could be sooner."
When I went on the dayshift I rarely saw her on a regular basis.
When I did, I was shocked to see she had gained about 80 pounds.
A few times in the morning I would have to put her in the shower and change her bedding due to incontinence.
"I am so sorry honey. I just couldnt make it to the commode."
The commode was RIGHT beside the bed.
"Aren't you cold? You are lying in cold urine?"
"Oh honey don't be mad at me. I just couldn't get up."
"No you WOULDNT get up. But you better start getting up or soon you wont be able to for real."
"oh we're back to that are we?"
I was so sad. She was folding up right in front of me.
Capable and smart and very self-directed and yet she was choosing to live poorly.
I saw her last week. She was soaked in urine and the sheets were wet.
"That's just the way it is these days honey."
She had just had the laundry done the day before and there were 2 full garbage bags in the tub with wet things to be laundered. I could see it was a great effort to her just being up.
Oh yes, she got up.
" I saw your name on the schedule and called in to confirm it. I couldnt believe it. After all this time finally you're back! I double checked yesterday too just in case she changed you."
"I was surprised too."
"Honey, you don't know how much I miss those nights out. We will go again soon ok?"
"Sure," I said. "call me anytime."
"Tell not to forget Auntie Nora."
"Okay my LADY Nora. "
I always called her Lady Nora to her face telling her she should have a staff of twenty attending her. It was one of the things she hated about me in the beginning and grew to love after awhile. I refused to treat her as if she was ill. I treated her as if she was well.
After I left, perhaps an hour later, she dialled 9-1-1
Lady Nora died in the regional hospital at the age of 72 of a broken heart.
It goes to show you what determination does.
Be careful what you wish for.
Farewell Lady Nora.
You surprised me.
I thought you had a few more rounds in you.
But I understand completely, you were done long ago.
I wish life had been more fulfilling for you.
I wish with all the service you got, you could have experienced some degree of happiness.
Perhaps you did.
----------------------------
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. Willians jennings Bryan.
The basic trouble was my not understanding what it was I was supposed to be doing there.
It seemed so silly and she was so capable. Why we were there was not clear.
She complained about me and I was yanked from her schedule.
A few months later she showed up on my night schedule.
I would tell her to get up and get moving or one day she would not be able to.
"oh honey, I know you mean well but you don't understand, I just can't."
"oh yes you can. You won't. Come on get up and I will take you out for dinner."
By golly if she didn't get up and dressed and out we went.
Thereafter once a month I would take her out for dinner. I was able to do this as I was scheduled to be her dinner girl and her nighttime girl. This was a total of 1.25 hours.
I also had my dinner break in there. So I lumped them together and I took her to various restaurants around the area. Inevitably she would suggest places I never would go to.
Why? Because I can't afford to. But there was an opportunity for me as a person not as an employee or a Nurse or anything else, just me as a person to reach out and touch someone.
Naturally she would forget her wallet or be short on cash so early on, in fact from the very beginning I just budgetted this in my month. She would always protest but I knew she knew I knew..... (etc etc) We would be served. This *Served* part was very important to her.
I believe this was the key thing that she liked about being sick. Someone comes in and serves you. If you get better, say goodbye to all the attention.
I would talk to her about her family and her life and her loves. She had a wonderful childhood and a mother who was fabulous. She was spoiled of course. Once she went out in the world she met a fellow who was charming but completely irresponsible. They married and had children and made a go of it until she found out how much money he owed her parents.
A few rough years on her own and then she met the love of her life. He was an older man who adored her. They had some great years and then suddenly he died.
"A part of me died that day honey. There will never be anyone else for me."
"Dont say that! You dont know what is around the next corner."
"Yes I do. I just wish it could be sooner."
When I went on the dayshift I rarely saw her on a regular basis.
When I did, I was shocked to see she had gained about 80 pounds.
A few times in the morning I would have to put her in the shower and change her bedding due to incontinence.
"I am so sorry honey. I just couldnt make it to the commode."
The commode was RIGHT beside the bed.
"Aren't you cold? You are lying in cold urine?"
"Oh honey don't be mad at me. I just couldn't get up."
"No you WOULDNT get up. But you better start getting up or soon you wont be able to for real."
"oh we're back to that are we?"
I was so sad. She was folding up right in front of me.
Capable and smart and very self-directed and yet she was choosing to live poorly.
I saw her last week. She was soaked in urine and the sheets were wet.
"That's just the way it is these days honey."
She had just had the laundry done the day before and there were 2 full garbage bags in the tub with wet things to be laundered. I could see it was a great effort to her just being up.
Oh yes, she got up.
" I saw your name on the schedule and called in to confirm it. I couldnt believe it. After all this time finally you're back! I double checked yesterday too just in case she changed you."
"I was surprised too."
"Honey, you don't know how much I miss those nights out. We will go again soon ok?"
"Sure," I said. "call me anytime."
"Tell
"Okay my LADY Nora. "
I always called her Lady Nora to her face telling her she should have a staff of twenty attending her. It was one of the things she hated about me in the beginning and grew to love after awhile. I refused to treat her as if she was ill. I treated her as if she was well.
After I left, perhaps an hour later, she dialled 9-1-1
Lady Nora died in the regional hospital at the age of 72 of a broken heart.
It goes to show you what determination does.
Be careful what you wish for.
Farewell Lady Nora.
You surprised me.
I thought you had a few more rounds in you.
But I understand completely, you were done long ago.
I wish life had been more fulfilling for you.
I wish with all the service you got, you could have experienced some degree of happiness.
Perhaps you did.
----------------------------
Destiny is not a matter of chance, it is a matter of choice; it is not a thing to be waited for, it is a thing to be achieved. Willians jennings Bryan.
7.4.05
Dear Reader
*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~
Dear Reader:
You are NOT totally and irrevocably responsible for everything and everyone.
That's MY job.
Love,
God
*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~
Dear Reader:
You are NOT totally and irrevocably responsible for everything and everyone.
That's MY job.
Love,
God
*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~*~#~
6.4.05
God Bless Reactin
A very good thing has happened!!
After the 24 hours to get Claritin out of my system I once again was ready for pharmaceuticals.
I asked the druggist the differences between the two commonly used active ingredients and understood that if Claritin did not work for me(which it did not) the other one likely could.
Clutching my Reactin in my sleep deprived hand I left the pharmacy wearing my dacron vest over my nightshirt and purple pants. No wonder the Pharmacist looked so concerned.
I went to my Dad's for comfort as I was feeling very poorly indeed and was somewhat scared of respiratory distress as you, gentle reader already know.
IT WORKED!
It has been almost 2 hours since I took it and I am feeling better. My eyes are not streaming, my airways are somewhat clearer and most importantly, I can lower my head without suffocating.
God bless Reactin!
Thank you thank you thank you!
Okay so I show my wuzzy side.
Sue me.
-------------------
=============
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"The best part of being alive is BEING. " ---me!
After the 24 hours to get Claritin out of my system I once again was ready for pharmaceuticals.
I asked the druggist the differences between the two commonly used active ingredients and understood that if Claritin did not work for me(which it did not) the other one likely could.
Clutching my Reactin in my sleep deprived hand I left the pharmacy wearing my dacron vest over my nightshirt and purple pants. No wonder the Pharmacist looked so concerned.
I went to my Dad's for comfort as I was feeling very poorly indeed and was somewhat scared of respiratory distress as you, gentle reader already know.
IT WORKED!
It has been almost 2 hours since I took it and I am feeling better. My eyes are not streaming, my airways are somewhat clearer and most importantly, I can lower my head without suffocating.
God bless Reactin!
Thank you thank you thank you!
Okay so I show my wuzzy side.
Sue me.
-------------------
=============
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"The best part of being alive is BEING. " ---me!
5.4.05
"You still doing that Bog?"
Yes Mr. Knoclue, I am still *bog*-ing.
Boggling.
De-virused my olde trusty machine and to my delight the underlined (not underling as previously stated, a MUDders typo) text thingees are gone as are the obnoxious "web Offers."
I managed to retain the magic wand and the theme.
Ezula and all those rotten spywares are gone.
The only bundle I really applaud is Trillian with the Wikipedia that loads on a dime.
It really IS cool.
Come on Blog-spot, get us Wikipedia-ed.
---------------------------
Boggling.
De-virused my olde trusty machine and to my delight the underlined (not underling as previously stated, a MUDders typo) text thingees are gone as are the obnoxious "web Offers."
I managed to retain the magic wand and the theme.
Ezula and all those rotten spywares are gone.
The only bundle I really applaud is Trillian with the Wikipedia that loads on a dime.
It really IS cool.
Come on Blog-spot, get us Wikipedia-ed.
---------------------------
...about that magic wand...
all right so I got a little off topic back there....
I was thinking about my magic wand cursor.
It started about the time I got myself a new desktop theme.
Now before you start saying aha and serves me right I want you to know I scanned the file I downloaded and made sure it was not from that awful site that is mirrored a thousand times the world over that bundles themes with six different kinds of spyware and trojans.
All the same, suddenly I have Web offers popping up every few minutes and of course there is the matter of that nasty text underling here which for all I know could very well originate on this machine here, the beauteous and sedate Aptiva.
Yes yes its spyware. Once again I fell for something sparkling and shiny only to be used like last months something or t'other.
*sniff*
I am going to miss this magic wand.
It came in handy. Even if it was from Troy.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=
I was thinking about my magic wand cursor.
It started about the time I got myself a new desktop theme.
Now before you start saying aha and serves me right I want you to know I scanned the file I downloaded and made sure it was not from that awful site that is mirrored a thousand times the world over that bundles themes with six different kinds of spyware and trojans.
All the same, suddenly I have Web offers popping up every few minutes and of course there is the matter of that nasty text underling here which for all I know could very well originate on this machine here, the beauteous and sedate Aptiva.
Yes yes its spyware. Once again I fell for something sparkling and shiny only to be used like last months something or t'other.
*sniff*
I am going to miss this magic wand.
It came in handy. Even if it was from Troy.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=
What do you MEAN my magic wand is a trojan?
Disillusionment envelopes me. My glittering sparkling magic wand cursor is a trojan. hmph.
When I was downgraded to this Aptiva computer of mine from my screaming Pentium 4 with 1 Gig of Memory... or wait, is that a false memory rearing it's ugly head? No I think I really did have a better computer last month. It could process a Seti@home unit in 4 and a bit hours. This one is on hour 47 and not even close to done.
Still, I am online and happy and I dont really need to download every single episode of Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous, Black Adder and Corner Gas... do I? Not on this machine anyway.
I am in the debt of some friends I met online who live in Macedonia.
When I could not find the drivers for this machine on the IBM site I took it to the local professional. He told me he gave up looking after one hour and a half. "They don't exist", he said. "Your computer is too old."
I live in the upperclass resort town so naturally most of his customers would counter with something like: " For Heavens sake my good man, sell me something decent and take this clunker off my hands."
I just said thanks and went home and sent out the distress call.
My Macedonian friends told me they do not have the luxury of newness for many things so they know how to fix things. They told me it took them longer to compose me the email than to find and attach the drivers.
Aptiva machines have the drivers on the motherboard for sound, usb etc.
My display had been stuck in hokey 16 color mode which is fine for text but rather obnoxious for any site with a plug-in. MOST sites.
After I installed the drivers I still had no sound but the display was perfect and I certainly wouldnt have complained. One of the fellas asked me how the sound was. "oh we forgot to send the sound driver" he said and voila... it arrived the next day.
So my friend in Macedonia who builds motorcycles for a living did me a wonderful turn while the man who would charge me the big dineros told me this machine is "too olde" with "non-existant drivers no longer available."
Thank you so much Morg and Rad and Dada. I know you dont read my blog nor even know I have one. But those who do should know that they are still people in the world who would help a total stranger for no profit at all to themselves just because they believe it is the right thing TO do.
I cannot tell you how happy I am on this old Aptiva.
It just hums along processing slow slow slow even on my lightning fast connection and boy, do I love it.
There is a Barbra Streisand song in here somewhere.
;P
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
When I was downgraded to this Aptiva computer of mine from my screaming Pentium 4 with 1 Gig of Memory... or wait, is that a false memory rearing it's ugly head? No I think I really did have a better computer last month. It could process a Seti@home unit in 4 and a bit hours. This one is on hour 47 and not even close to done.
Still, I am online and happy and I dont really need to download every single episode of Monty Python, Fawlty Towers, Absolutely Fabulous, Black Adder and Corner Gas... do I? Not on this machine anyway.
I am in the debt of some friends I met online who live in Macedonia.
When I could not find the drivers for this machine on the IBM site I took it to the local professional. He told me he gave up looking after one hour and a half. "They don't exist", he said. "Your computer is too old."
I live in the upperclass resort town so naturally most of his customers would counter with something like: " For Heavens sake my good man, sell me something decent and take this clunker off my hands."
I just said thanks and went home and sent out the distress call.
My Macedonian friends told me they do not have the luxury of newness for many things so they know how to fix things. They told me it took them longer to compose me the email than to find and attach the drivers.
Aptiva machines have the drivers on the motherboard for sound, usb etc.
My display had been stuck in hokey 16 color mode which is fine for text but rather obnoxious for any site with a plug-in. MOST sites.
After I installed the drivers I still had no sound but the display was perfect and I certainly wouldnt have complained. One of the fellas asked me how the sound was. "oh we forgot to send the sound driver" he said and voila... it arrived the next day.
So my friend in Macedonia who builds motorcycles for a living did me a wonderful turn while the man who would charge me the big dineros told me this machine is "too olde" with "non-existant drivers no longer available."
Thank you so much Morg and Rad and Dada. I know you dont read my blog nor even know I have one. But those who do should know that they are still people in the world who would help a total stranger for no profit at all to themselves just because they believe it is the right thing TO do.
I cannot tell you how happy I am on this old Aptiva.
It just hums along processing slow slow slow even on my lightning fast connection and boy, do I love it.
There is a Barbra Streisand song in here somewhere.
;P
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
4.4.05
Broom to the left of me; Broom to the right of me!
Like purple loosestrife and cane toads, once upon a time there was no broom native to this Island. Some well-meaning soul, thinking of home, imported it to beautiful their personal garden. Now, we all "enjoy" it as it lines the highways, ditches and formerly available to local flora, earthen recepticles.
Nothing eats it, no birds pluck it for their young, and it is dominating the plantscape here. Perhaps it even has displaced the loosestrife.
I always know when the Broom is in bloom.
It is the day I awaken with ten sneezes and go through tissue boxes like herskey's kisses.
I was encouraged by some research being conducted in the UK for allergy and asthma suffers. I would even volunteer to test out this new protein when it is synthesized into some oral or transdermal drug. Just please gardeners, stop with the foreign varieties already!
Claritin doesn't work for me. Even my stalward Flovent isn't working this year and frankly, I resemble Niagra Falls more by the hour.
God bless the Broom. In Scotland.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
btw: these yellow double-underlined links have NOTHING to do with me. I cannot really complain as blogspace is currently free.
I was comtemplating doing pod-casts but imagine the mayhem.....
Nothing eats it, no birds pluck it for their young, and it is dominating the plantscape here. Perhaps it even has displaced the loosestrife.
I always know when the Broom is in bloom.
It is the day I awaken with ten sneezes and go through tissue boxes like herskey's kisses.
I was encouraged by some research being conducted in the UK for allergy and asthma suffers. I would even volunteer to test out this new protein when it is synthesized into some oral or transdermal drug. Just please gardeners, stop with the foreign varieties already!
Claritin doesn't work for me. Even my stalward Flovent isn't working this year and frankly, I resemble Niagra Falls more by the hour.
God bless the Broom. In Scotland.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
btw: these yellow double-underlined links have NOTHING to do with me. I cannot really complain as blogspace is currently free.
I was comtemplating doing pod-casts but imagine the mayhem.....
3.4.05
That I might not cause pain!
I had referred to Jabez a few days back and his prayer recorded in Chronicles.
When the Jabez bandwagon rolled on into town, I was somewhat aghast as the prosperity gospel has never appealed to me nor seemed particularly Christlike.
Praying for more more MORE seems like a prayer to the wrong deity.
I do not believe Christ came to instruct us to live more conspicuously and with greater oppulence. That is Hollywood and the Media's job.
I believe Christ came to tell us to share what we have been blessed with, and remember those who have not been as fortunate as we have. Remembering them with more than braincells.
I do like the part in the Jabez prayer where *I* have inferred it to mean a request to God for helping living in a manner that does not cause others pain.
Read this:
http://www.lostjabez.com/jabez/fromjabez.htm
Kinda makes you wonder, does it not?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"What is truth? Is mine the same as yours?"
Pontius Pilate to Jesus
(Jesus Christ, Superstar)
When the Jabez bandwagon rolled on into town, I was somewhat aghast as the prosperity gospel has never appealed to me nor seemed particularly Christlike.
Praying for more more MORE seems like a prayer to the wrong deity.
I do not believe Christ came to instruct us to live more conspicuously and with greater oppulence. That is Hollywood and the Media's job.
I believe Christ came to tell us to share what we have been blessed with, and remember those who have not been as fortunate as we have. Remembering them with more than braincells.
I do like the part in the Jabez prayer where *I* have inferred it to mean a request to God for helping living in a manner that does not cause others pain.
Read this:
http://www.lostjabez.com/jabez/fromjabez.htm
Kinda makes you wonder, does it not?
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
"What is truth? Is mine the same as yours?"
Pontius Pilate to Jesus
(Jesus Christ, Superstar)
An excellent quote for an excellent Sunday!
Christianity has not been tried and found wanting; it has been found difficult and left untried.
G. K. Chesterton
G. K. Chesterton
Goodbye Pope John-Paul II
With a mix of sorrow and joy, I bid farewell to one of my heroes.
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/mid/w/a/wasavior.mid
The Pope.
Here in an age where rewriting rethinking reconstructing is what is politically correct, this man stood tall and firm, and never apologised for his conviction that he was doing the will of God as revealed to him.
Catholics everywhere mourn him. Politicians and leaders are booking flights to attend his funeral. I will stop my day and watch his funeral mass also.
God used him MIGHTILY.
Goodbye to you, man of sorrows.
Goodbye and thank-you for your dedication and devotion to the poor and downtrodden.
Thank you for your standing up to evil in all forms.
Thank you for showing the entire world the face of a man who sees God.
I hope one day to see you!
-----*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*-----
Man of Sorrows! what a name
For the Son of God, Who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Words & Music:
Philip P. Bliss
http://www.cyberhymnal.org/mid/w/a/wasavior.mid
The Pope.
Here in an age where rewriting rethinking reconstructing is what is politically correct, this man stood tall and firm, and never apologised for his conviction that he was doing the will of God as revealed to him.
Catholics everywhere mourn him. Politicians and leaders are booking flights to attend his funeral. I will stop my day and watch his funeral mass also.
God used him MIGHTILY.
Goodbye to you, man of sorrows.
Goodbye and thank-you for your dedication and devotion to the poor and downtrodden.
Thank you for your standing up to evil in all forms.
Thank you for showing the entire world the face of a man who sees God.
I hope one day to see you!
-----*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*---*-----
Man of Sorrows! what a name
For the Son of God, Who came
Ruined sinners to reclaim.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Bearing shame and scoffing rude,
In my place condemned He stood;
Sealed my pardon with His blood.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Guilty, vile, and helpless we;
Spotless Lamb of God was He;
“Full atonement!” can it be?
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Lifted up was He to die;
“It is finished!” was His cry;
Now in Heav’n exalted high.
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
When He comes, our glorious King,
All His ransomed home to bring,
Then anew His song we’ll sing:
Hallelujah! What a Savior!
Words & Music:
Philip P. Bliss
2.4.05
Daylight Savings
The clock was set forward an hour last night before bed.
Typically my awakening time is 5am. Somehow even with daylight savings I managed this.
Cobwebs still dangling in my noodled bits, the first moments of today were spent wondering how on earth I could forget the words to "Tommy, the Rock Opera" in front of so many people. It was all the more mortifying when it was me who did the casting.
I cast myself in the role of the Acid Queen. I was kissing one of the boys in the chorus when I realised I was supposed to be on stage.
Faking it doesn't come easily to me. Not in front of thousands of people at least.
I hummed and gesticulated and hoofed it but the words would not come.
Damn!
I was brushing my teeth, still boggling over how stupid I was to forget not only my entrance, but my words too. brush brush brush!
Think think think!
Brush brush brush!
Wait a minute.
Damn it Jim, I am a Nurse not a rockstar!
Hang on! daylight savings is tomorrow!
ouch!
---0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0---
"gather your wits and hold on fast,
your mind must learn to roam,
Just as the gypsy queen must do
You're gonna hit the road.
"My work is done, now look at him!
He's never been more alive.
His head it shakes, his fingers clutch,
watch his body writhe!
"I'm the gypsy, the acid queen
Pay before we start.
I'm the gypsy. I'm guaranteed
to break your little heart!"
---the Who "tommy"
Typically my awakening time is 5am. Somehow even with daylight savings I managed this.
Cobwebs still dangling in my noodled bits, the first moments of today were spent wondering how on earth I could forget the words to "Tommy, the Rock Opera" in front of so many people. It was all the more mortifying when it was me who did the casting.
I cast myself in the role of the Acid Queen. I was kissing one of the boys in the chorus when I realised I was supposed to be on stage.
Faking it doesn't come easily to me. Not in front of thousands of people at least.
I hummed and gesticulated and hoofed it but the words would not come.
Damn!
I was brushing my teeth, still boggling over how stupid I was to forget not only my entrance, but my words too. brush brush brush!
Think think think!
Brush brush brush!
Wait a minute.
Damn it Jim, I am a Nurse not a rockstar!
Hang on! daylight savings is tomorrow!
ouch!
---0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0-0---
"gather your wits and hold on fast,
your mind must learn to roam,
Just as the gypsy queen must do
You're gonna hit the road.
"My work is done, now look at him!
He's never been more alive.
His head it shakes, his fingers clutch,
watch his body writhe!
"I'm the gypsy, the acid queen
Pay before we start.
I'm the gypsy. I'm guaranteed
to break your little heart!"
---the Who "tommy"
1.4.05
Fools rush in!!
After last night's storm, when March roared out lion-style, today dawned damp but not blustery. That came later.
Playing around with numbers is one of my favourite pursuits. Pondering physics another.
Today I lay abed thinking a good big think!
Too late I remembered the significance of April first!
No jokes for me, not even salt in the sugar.
Just a wonderful peaceful GORGEOUS time of thinking.
Hurrah!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.
Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
Playing around with numbers is one of my favourite pursuits. Pondering physics another.
Today I lay abed thinking a good big think!
Too late I remembered the significance of April first!
No jokes for me, not even salt in the sugar.
Just a wonderful peaceful GORGEOUS time of thinking.
Hurrah!
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=
Fortune, seeing that she could not make fools wise, has made them lucky.
Michel Eyquem de Montaigne
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