Hard times, soft people

IF you have never experienced a moment un-copable, if you have never been touched by the hand of fate in a withering manner, then you cannot possibly empathsize with those in crisis invisible -- the warriors of the unseen, the shadows of the mind.

During my walk-a-bouts, I frequently run into people who I met when I volunteered at the Street level Mental Health Centre. This group of people has the highest rate of loss of any group I know, including my elderly clients. The ones who wink out, or flash by tend to be in their 30s, or 40s.

It was sad news to hear that yet another of the folk I bonded with during my 2 year sojourn is gone to a heroin overdose. Damnitall people, HEROIN HATES YOU!

I would like to think this was an accidental overdose. Like last time it was an accidental fall from a cliff. And before that an accidental carbon monoxide poisoning.... and on and on and on.
The system is broke. And noone with power, authority and money is taking responsibility and trying to make it right. We need a Mike Holmes of Mental Health.

Years ago after my volunteer stint I applied for a job at this *place* and was told that they perceived my skills to be in the social realm of things. This, evidentally, was not in the job criteria. But they would be delighted if I continued to volunteer. I hate to say it but something my ex said to me rang in my mind:
"Even Jesus had to eat."

Yes, I am retired from the BIG LIFE of olde. No, I am not independantly wealthy.
I require income.

All these losses make me sad. The 3am of the soul came hard for each of these folk.
I understand. And after a week on heavy doses of codeine, I understand very well.
Opiates of any description or strength do not agree with me. Oh they take the pain away....
but they make me exist in a twilight of terror.

Getting close to 2 years since Mad Bee Maddie took her life.
I saw her former lover today - (sigh)

Why is life so hard on the young?
Why do fragile people find little strength from friends and community?

I try not to take it all on. Good thing I did not get the job at the Mental Health centre.
It would have challenged my every boundary.

Still human,...... sigh. Currently decidely human.