2.1.05

Mmm part 2

Back to the two Millicents.

Millicent #1 went to hospital sometime in this last year after a bad fall.
Possibly she is in convalescent care but more probably she has been placed in a long term care facility as she had some other medical problems.

Millicent #2 was told she had 3 months to live last October.
She opted to stay at home. Christmas of 2004 all her family came to celebrate in high style and marvelled at how well their Mother-grandmother-Great-Aunt-Sister was doing. Springtime her children decided they each would come for a month until such time as mom was gone. Summer waned and Autumn came and still Millicent was soldiering on. She was a marvel.

Not so very long ago, I was at her home and she was planning for the next week.
As we came out of the bedroom I heard her daughter say to a visiting Nurse: "I think it is for the best." The Nurse answered: "it's time, in fact it is long past time."
Millicent looked at me and I squeezed her hand. We walked down her hall and the Nurse hastily left. Her daughter was holding her coat. "We are going now Mother."
Millicent took a short breath and then in grand style made her decision.
She turned to me and smiled and thanked me.
Then she said: "I will see you again. I am quite sure of it."

The office called me and told me to strike her off my list.
"She has gone into a facility."
I knew that. I silently blessed my Father in that moment for never doing that to my Mother although the personal cost to him was huge. It is nothing you can ever blame or shame someone for. Everyone is different and we all have our breaking points, Still though, I feel sad when a person cannot achieve their desire in their last days.

I knew where Millicent was and I planned to visit her.
Like all the very best of intentions, this one was on the road to Hell. I never did get myself organised beyond saying to myself: "Today is the day I go see Millicent."
I had some guilt as I remembered her last words to me. She was so positive in her statement.
Her disease process was much slower than her Doctor's had anticipated, but all the same, her life was drawing to it's close. I was having a guilt moment the other day as I went to see my private client.

Walking down the Hall where my private client lives, I have to pass the Journey of Hearts room where end-of-life care is given for those whose palliation is imminent. I looked at the name on the name and walked in without missing a step.

"Millicent M, it's me! How wonderful to see you!"

The figure in the bed was very bloated and her face had swollen to twice the size I remembered it. Her eyes were closed. She was lying on her back. There was someone sitting in a chair just behind me shaking their head at me.

"I am so sorry I did not get a chance to see you in that other place! It just never worked out for me but now you are here I am so happy to see you again! I wish you were home and I was making you something tasty and delicious but nevermind! The people here are pretty wonderful too!"

Her voice, unmistakeable, quivered and then, finding it's tone settled into a clear sentence.
"DEAR!! I am happy to see you too!" Her eyes were still closed.

I took her hand and squeezed it gently. I know how precious those last days are. I understand the gift of speech in end of lives. Every word comes at great cost. And there are only so many of them left. It is a real honour to have any directed my way.

"Millicent M. I have to go now, but I wanted to wish you a good Christmas and all the very best with your family." I leaned over and kissed her forehead.

" Thank you so much for coming. Same to you and your family."

I turned and left the room. The chair's occupant was now in the hall sobbing.

I heard Millicent died a day or so after Christmas.
God bless you Millicent the proud and victorious.
You ran that last lap as a champion.
------------------

But I firmly believe that any man's finest hour, his greatest fulfillment of all he holds dear, is the moment when he has worked his heart out in a good cause and lies exhausted on the field of battle - victorious.
Vince Lombardi