Spring. Not Spring. Spring.

Dizzying, these changes of weather. Mother's day today- flowers to the grave and wishing I had a mother. One who actually loved me and accepted me as I was/am. A lifelong search for those stolen moments in my nightly dreams. No crime since they never truly existed.

Joy and sorrow.
Sorrow and loss.
Loss and emptiness.

I have found joy in becoming what I never had. Giving freely what I craved so deeply. Teaching as I can, those hard lessons so diligently learned. Joy Joy Joy in my journey and yours.

Here at my beach the ocean spills into the bay; grey waters lapping greyer sands. I want what we all need. Chances slim to none. But still, there IS a chance.