Are we there yet?

Went to the Medical Specialist/Sadist this last week to find out how much longer my torture session will be. Part of me wants to remove all the hardware (and now!!!) but alas that would mean all was for naught!
And it hurt too much for that outcome...

One more year, he says.
One more year he hopes.
I can cope with that.

I did actually sleep soundly one night this last week, without medical intervention.
The trouble with looking healthy is that noone ever believes that there could possibly be anything troubling you. My injury had a strange side-effect leaving me with a permanent grimace/smirk. I look like I am always smiling.
Trust me it is a wince.
My jaw locks and my teeth grind and I scream in my head louder and louder.

Again this last week I had a day so bad that if I had a gun I would have shot my jaw off. I went to bed praying for better times loudly and sincerely.
3 days of migraine headaches and one night of abject terror in which I woke up everyone again shouting "NO MORE, NO MORE!"

I am going to go to see my Physician about Klonopin again....
Noone else can stand it when I scream at 3am.
The trouble is that I am left with a hangover effect but no memory of what transpired. Outside of a roaring headache that is...

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Do you realise that I have spent far more money fixing my invisible but painful injury than I did on my home? Amazing is it not?

I take so much tylenol I have permanent residue that will live on long after me.
Still thinking about a trip to where opium is an option to see if I could actually have 1 week running of no pain.

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If ever oh ever you are in an accident and noone but yourself thinks there is trauma of the long-lasting sort borrow beg or steal money for an MRI ---

and believe in yourself.