What brings it out in people is beyond me. From the insanely practical to the practically insane, so many of the clients tell me their sordid tales of sex. Yes! I said sex.
It is surreal when the discussion is instigated by an octegenarian. Generally I mumble politely and listen attentively but not too much so as to invite uhm, interaction.
The memory of Mr. G. sitting at his dining room table clad only in his brief haunts me.
"Come here dear, hunny, I show you, NO dont be scared of this little HERE I show you, seee? Nothing to worry about."
uhm, right.
"Oh Lordie', said a supervisor. "You have to stop being so flirtacious and dont wear those lowcut tops or of course you'll get your bum pinched!"
a) I dont flirt and
b) I wear a uniform to work. No lowcut tops here thank you.
"You certainly bring it out in them," said another Supervisor. She was referring to a gentleman who was blind and very cranky. (!!!) I had showed up 20 minutes late due to being told the wrong address. When I did arrive he was miffed but within a short time he was positively oozing charm, asking me if I believe in dating MUCH older men.
After I left, he had called the Supervisor on her direct line (how he got that # who knows) to tell her it was a crime, a crime you know, sending out such a young innocent girl to men's homes where --anything-- could happen!
Yes, I said he was blind. I never said I was young.
He assumed it I suppose. It was very endearing.
The most shocking was an old Scot who was grieving his wife very hard.
He had developed a crush on another worker and would request her all the time.
I had only met him on one other occasion so I was not prepared for his little question to me.
"Never mind about the pills and dinner. Do you think oral sex is possible?"
There is no good answer to that question.
Hey it's not male-exclusive either.
There was a single woman who had a positive yearning for massage.
"Now I will disrobe after my shower and lie here. And you massage the cream into my back.'
I asked one of the other workers if this woman moaned when being massaged.
"YOU WHAT?" "We just rub some lotion on her feet and legs."
oooo okey.
There are a few lady couples of the wealthy eccentric peruasion in these parts.
"OH! Don't mind Mindy she is in a bit of a snit today. She didn't like yesterday's girl."
--- don't ask
"How much do you make an hour? Would you ever consider working privately?"
"What did you have in mind Miss W.?"
---- don't ask
Sometimes its a pain, sometimes its amusing and sometimes its really flattering.
But you know I never see it coming until its too late.
Drat.
