The Snoozle Factor

There can be pesky side effects to life with a TBI. This week's blue light special was migraines. BAH -

The first day I suspected I had been in the land of pavor nocturnus,( and perhaps I was there without any recall) when the crush of nerve on brain got my full and complete attention. Dark room and solitude produced a few hours of complicated sleep and visits from concerned roommates and guests. It was the sleep shouting thing again. "Get away from me, get that thing off me, get out get out!" Why is it I never shout happy things? Why are sleep terrors not balanced by sleep blissies?

It was a long haul this time and somewhat discouraging. The migraine lasted almost 3 days, a record for me. The terrors were in accompaniment. Only the words of a Neurologist who told me not to consider surgery until I was screaming in pain all day every day held me together. Once my brain was functional once again I decided to see what other people are posting about the sleep terror aspect of this phenomena.

Thanks to global communication and the Internet, freaked out people are able to connect with others who experience similar things. In my past I have been told and told off by people with the letters PHD after their names - told that I am making it up, told that it is impossible for sleep paralysis to last more than 20 to 30 seconds, - yadda yadda - The great strength of being me is that I never once believed that it was not really happening. I refused to accept that I was the only person in the world with such things going on. In the Internet age, it is obvious that not only does it go on, it is positively rampant.

I had a good laugh at Dion McGregor, who talked even more than I do - and oh dear, what a potty mouth! Listen to him here - (""Brown it, brown it...") His sleep narratives invariably ended with his shrieking in terror. I believe that as long as your night terrors stay in the night, it is bearable. When they interfer with your days, its difficult. When you can no longer fall asleep at all, its dire.

Most of the sleep chatters who also have night terrors just want to understand what it all means. I like the way this fellow approached the problem, by recording himself in the night, and posting it to a website.
If you cannot sleep soundly, it is unlikely your days will be full of sunshine and roses - that you would notice at least.

So another round of horror, and another set ceded to Pavor Nocturnus. --sigh-- I took all my medications three days in a row..... and let us hope they do their work.

Oh those pesky witnesses....

Being a fairly free spirit on the face of things I wear what I like and I do what I want. Most of my choices are benign, and moral. (most) Taste is something else. Taste is entirely subjective. I am finding out new things all the time.

Although my work hours are set, my breaks are arbitrary. Today's break was at a very odd time. Eleven in the morning is primetime in healthcare and a break at that time is unusual. I had 1.33 hours to myself and so I strolled about the town, wandering in and out of the giftshoppes, delivering Christmasy Cards to the merchants I wished to thank for their great service. Everywhere I went in Town, by foot, people were smiling and wishing me a Merry Christmas.

The man in the gas station on the corner came out from his building and called to me: "Hey Christmas Spirit lady: HAVE A GREAT CHRISTMAS!" Only then did I realise
that I was wearing red and green. Red pants, red top and a green very green Christmas green jacket. *ho ho ho*

At my first client of the day my co-worker told our client that he thought my taste was demur. Then they laughed. I looked at him puzzled and he said: "Well, you dont dress flashy do you?" (irony) (Sarcasm)
I'm clean and well-dressed and every day I feel good about what I wear but possibly I may be better dressed than most. Good taste no money. Buy cheap and wear forever, wear wherever and wear it out!
As we went outside he looked at me and said suddenly: "You know,: You are a good person!" He sounded like he had just thought of it.

I looked at him and said: "Yes, Yes I am! Yay me!" and got in my car wondering what he had thought before. Scary Me? Stupidhead Me? Bossy Me?
THe harmonic trinity of me.
We are all good and all necessary.

-=-

And so we come to the end of the day where I run into a friend or five and they ask me about basic human rights. Then they all giggle. I missed something I guess.
They segue to chocolate pudding and then look at me again and giggle.
"All right all right, what's going on? I know you are mocking me but I am not sure about what? Who is telling pudding stories on me?"

Sometimes when I am asleep I am still interactive. Rarely I converse and when I do it is almost always nonsense. (or shouting) But OF COURSE the one time I launch a grande conversation there are witnesses.
"Every human being should have the right to chocolate."

"A good esthetician would spoon feed you chocolate and I bet that service would sell very well too!"

"Oh come on please just one... just spoonfeed me one little mouthful and I will never ask again please!"

There was chocolate pudding cups at the head of my bed.
There were people in my room watching a movie on my computer with me and I fell asleep.
There are just way too many people who know this story and its not yet 24 hours old.
Oh those pesky witnesses.

NO more company after 8pm.
It's too risky!

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