Catch Up

You would think that with so much time *healing* I would have my house in order and all my projects at least started. Not so, my friends - the house is the familiar messy creative den it always is and the projects are still awaiting my attentions. Turns out that healing takes alot of energy and rest and 5 days off of work does not necessarily mean 5 days of ease.

I have been stretched and ultrasounded and medicated and encouraged but the shoulder is still mis-behaving. Tomorrow I see my Physician again to get the yay or nay for back to work. Since I am not being paid I would really like to be back AT work. Job #2 although wonderful does not pay the bills. I do have a Lotto tic or 2 about the place....

This week I did use Facebook to reconnect with some of my favourite people from the Vancouver Art and Music scene. If I had been in Vancouver I could have gone to Jim Cummins "Nite of the Living Devil Kittens" show. In my mind and in my time it was more of this kind of thing.


The most worn and most borrowed t-shirt of my entire life is my Braineater "artist poet thief" - I still have to wrest it away from the replicant when I wish to actually wear it myself.

Also from my inbox - and another Vancouver first wave punk/new waver Tony Bardach - he of "pointed sticks" and "Modernettes" fame has a new band. "Slowpoke and the Smoke" - they play at falconettis (1812 Commercial) the first friday each month-next show is march 6- 9-12p. Frankly I always thought Tony to be one of the most beautiful men I have seen. He used to quite take my breath away. And then of course there is the music... always the music.



"It's only when you hit a nerve that you know you're on the right track."-Jim Cummins

So Thankful!

Now that the Naproxen is working, I feel very much better and the tendons in my arm and shoulder are calming down. I am thankful.

My evening position, bereft of lifting or repetitive motion, continues to be a source of joy in my life. It is such a little job in such a little place but I do love it so. My Manager is a bright warm witty woman and my co-workers are mostly very happy to be here in the same way that I am. It is always a pleasure to work with the young and be awash in their energy and drive. The folks who we serve are of a median age of 80. They consider me young! Bless their hearts!

One of our new residents has a son who is another beam of sunshine. He stopped by to visit his mom and then came over and sat with me a few hours. It was a Valentine treat!

I am so grateful for my charmed life.

------- *

“Feeling gratitude and not expressing it is like wrapping a present and not giving it.”
William Arthur Ward

Happy First Shift

Today dawned rather too early for me as I had worked until 11pm and had to get up at 7am. It was a good kind of tired. My very first shift at my new second job is in the past now. It was really great. (superlative superlative superlative)!

The first indication that things were going to be wonderful was upon meeting the woman who was training me. She was a little dynamo with a great spirit that shone out from her like a beacon. When working with the elderly this is a huge asset, and this lady had it in spades. She is from MY tribe.

Somewhat less exhuberant was the brain misfire I endured in the middle of serving dinner. I was moving and groovin and right on the money until --=*wham*=-- I lost my momentum and fizzled to a halt. It was not catastrophic as my trainer was there and two servers were buzy zipping about, but it was very humbling. I just have to learn the names to associate with the faces of the 35 residents who come down for dinner. Once I have that down it will be much easier.

The other perk is that I get to have dinner at my job when I work the evening shift!
Last night was salmon with dill sauce, rice and veggies and a parfait for dessert. It was delish! (yum)

Life is wonderful when things lock into place. Click click click.

My piano moves on Friday morning and I clean out my home completely on Monday.
Look out resort town, I am officially there in 5 days.

:)

===== *

Men with secrets tend to be drawn to each other, not becausethey wanttosharewhatthey know but because they need the company of the like-minded, the fellow- afflicted. —DeLillo, Don

A Perfect Day

This week, my day off happened to be the same day a very interesting meeting took place on. Never one to eschew educational components to the job, I naturally attended. Next day I awakened and knew before my eyes opened that is was not going to be a great day. Remembering what Dr. L. said about such things, I dutifully took my medication and after walking the doggie-boy, went back to bed.

Today, I awakened to happiness and well-being. The temperature is slightly lower and the winds slightly higher resulting in a beautiful day. The whitecaps show even in the shallows and the tide is way way out there. I found an iron-framed daybed in pretty much wonderous condition and put it on hold. After consulting the moneyman, it is being delivered on Tuesday. -swoon-

I saw an original Robert Wood canvas, signed even, for 7.00 but you have to leave something for the dealers. If it is still there tomorrow after work it is coming home with me. Somehow, I suspect not.

Eschew obfuscation, espouse elucidation!

Now I am digesting after a delicious meal, awaiting the family bonding experience. Yes, it is the multi-generational moment happening around "So You Think You Can Dance." I admit to enjoying it on Dad's big screen.

The dog is happy, the kids are all right and I, too am swathed in an aura of contentment. A perfect day pretty much.

Relax -ed

After wondering futilely what lived on the floor of my roommates room, at last I can authoritively hold forth.

Within the bounds of a 8 by 10 space, there were 7 pop tins, 5 water bottles, 33 of my sterling teaspoons, two bowls, five plates, and 3 huge hefty garbage bags of scrap paper, clippings and other more sinister things. And how do I know this? I took advantage of an extra day off to make good my threat of cleaning it myself. This undertaking was only possible as said roommate was not home for a few days.

Believe it or not, I did not find it disgusting nor upsetting. I found it very calming and satisfying.
It was just totally time to get that damn beast under control.

And now, as the machines finish the last of multiple piles of laundry, I am relaxed and happier than I have been for a long long time.

And the roommate?
She said a guilty thank-you although I am sure part of her wants to kill me.
Luckily the part that is grateful is bigger.

More Stardust

Ah Stardust.

We went to see it on Saturday night with great anticipation.
It was a hoot and a half. Robert de Niro was grande as the fiercesome pirate whoopsie.

Highly recommended.

:)


Or you can have the reading pleasure and enjoy that as well.
A purist might have quibbles with the film but it was great fun.

Expect Cultural and Privacy Issues ... ?

This was the phrase spoken to me over the telephone as a new client was added to my tomorrow.
I must admit I fretted all day about what on earth that could possibly mean.
"Expect Cultural and Privacy issues"

Well, bugger me sideways with a spoon but the last time anyone said anything like that to me, it was a 50 yr old alcoholic having a welfare wednesday party with a few friends that awaited me.
I was, most definitly on high alert for this one.

Semantics/syntax is everything.
What the phrase should have been was:
"This is a revered Elder. Please show utmost respect."

The client was the equivilant of a Prince, but not that he would have ever told you so.
His Caregiver on the other hand was very mindful of this. I do not blame her at all for wanting the HealthCare team to show deep respect. The gentleman was an utterly amazing force.
He hobnobs all over the world and leads ceremonies and blessings for WorldClass events but he was watching George C. Scott as Patton when I entered.

The home was a treasure trove of articles of cultural importance from all over the world. Given in trade for things depicted in large mounted photographs that adorned the walls. The photographs were of top quality and mounted like paintings. A story in every single room of that home. And yet, there he sat waiting and smiling.

"This is hard for me', he said. " I am not used to this."

Once finished the assignment, I left feeling blissed. It was such a privilege to have been there -
a wonderful blessing he presided over - for me.

Did I happen to mention.... ?

Me and my doggieboy are content and happy in this small life we have.
Around me, the little city grows and the green spaces diminish. The property values soar ever higher and the newer residents all seem to be disgustingly wealthy. They also want all the perks of the big city and vote for changes that are spoiling this little paradise of ours. But that was inevitable.

Still this happiness has settled upon me in these, my advanced years.
As opposed to those my retarded years. heh. Truth!

The sorrow of my birth family continues as addiction and co-dependance continues without respite. It pains me greatly as there is no gain in dissecting the past. It is dead.
Many times in my life, I have been reminded that my capacity for compassion was born of this horror of olde. I could easily have been the one still searching for solace. In key ways I still am. More likely, I , like the Witch of the East in the Wizard of Oz hear the cry: Begone! You have no power here!

I am lighting my candles now.

The Weekend!

Ever more mundane and pedantic, my weekend thrills have become super-colossal.
This weekend, I YouTube-d the audio BBC Lord of the Rings - as I MUD-ded.

Now that may seem small spuds to you, but to me the thrill was palatable!

Tonight I logged on to my YouTube and once again revisited one of the biggest parties I ever went to waaaaay back when. It was *the Fleshtones* and man it was one hell of a party. That was what my olde weekends were. Hah.

I smile when I see the uploaded *Right Side of a Good thing* - !
And you can too.

Sometimes I do miss the wasted days. That would be me being wasted I mean.
Sometimes.
I had so much energy! People always thought I was loaded or high when most of the time I was just completely excited beyond compare! But that night I was completely wasted. __Someone__ served me repeatedly a lethal cocktail of some kind. I had a blast.

I remember the next day by the pool announcing that the sun was hurting me.
It was 5pm. hah

I got *clean teeth*

Somehow, in my brain, that title is being sung to the Pointer Sister's "Steam Heat" melody line.
My teeth are spectacularly clean. They look fabulous, and feel even better. So I have to wear a retainer that makes me gag... bfd. It's worth it. They look good and I feel great. No more jawa cramping or painful nerve pain shooting behind my eye. It is all good.

I am over my bad-show-itis. Like an olde skin, I have shed it. Of course returning to my staid normalcy and work-a-4-day-week world helps oodles. It is good to be love-d. And you know what? My clients appreciate and love me. It floats my boat. I like feeling needed. I like working at something meaningful. (Even if I do dream about appraising at least once a week in full detail)
I also dream about being on stage at the Commodore Ballroom in Vancouver. Sometimes I even dream about being on Network television. Oh there it is. My guilty secret out.

It is a source of deep and lasting bliss to me that when Hollywood came a-calling, I had the sense to say no. I can still see the guy from Paramount Pictures in my mind. Not many people say no I suppose. If I had said yes, there is absolutely no doubt in my mind I would be deceased. Or worse: world-famous with a huge addiction problem.

I dream it though. Heh.
For today, my clean teeth are my everything.
It is well with my soul.

Shiny things

Believe it or not, after 7 years of blogging it all out loud, ranting and raging and spitting into the wind, I am jest about talk-ed out.

That's right you heard me.... talk-ed out!

I deleted the old blog in a moment of unclear on the concept, but this one is going to stick around.
Likely I will start posting about my beloved shinies.
The things I cannot change continue on. New day, same old shit, and being shit I need to flush it.

I can't change the world, only my own mind. I try to be kind every day and share joy.
I live in hope that all the good people are doing likewise and better, and thus the world is improved. Actions are imperative. Talk is cheap.

So - shiny things! Let's hear it for Shiny Things.
Shiny, glittery, loverly things.

Todays shiny thing is the curtain on my wall. I have no idea what the symbol means.
But its cool.
My thinking regarding symbols is that they mean whatever you imbue them with.
--- posting picture later when I get batteries for digicam

Munchies

My delirius enjoyment of unfettered jaw and teeth lasted all of 4 hours.

The hour and 20 appointment of the morning was to cut off the wires and brackets. It did hurt a bit on the left side due to pressure. The removal was a lot faster and more pain free once the Doctor came in and used the power tools to cut through things.

Once free of all hardware my teeth were polished and then impressions of both uppers and lowers were taken. I had four hours to kill until my return for the new appliance.

During those 4 hours, I never thought to eat something chewy, I just cruised around town doing my regular schtickt. Back in the chair 4 hours later, I was horrified to learn that in that small time, my teeth had shifted slightly. This, then, would be why I must wear the clear plastic appliances 24/7 for eight weeks, taking them off only to eat or drink. They did get the appliance to fit after much pressing and pulling. (read: more pain)

Eight weeks from now, I go for a followup and hopefully can proceed to wearing the appliances only at nighttime. YEAH!

Last night I had a little parasomnia episode. How do I know?
There were 4 chocolate pudding cups in my bed *AND* the ice cream container.
Do I remember? hmmm only slightly. I recall being hot. My mouth was hot.

Today, I took my appliance out and ate a 12 oz steak for lunch. OH YEAH!
For dessert I had ANOTHER steak- 8 ozs.
Oh yeah, I so did!

Brushed and put the appliance back in.
This is working well.

YUMMY STEAK. Been a long time.
Carnivore.

pixies

This is my seasonal obligatory lauding of the best rock and roll band ever.

THE PIXIES.

I wuv ya still.

I'M AN ADULT NOW!

(cue pursuit of happiness song)
] Moe knows! [

Trying to remember a few things from the 80s is for me a Herculean task.
My memories are faulty from that pesky brain injury trouble. Not just faulty --- positively unreliable. I think I know what I was up to but I am not completely sure.

Did I play with any Vancouver bands? I probably did.
But did I really? hmm. Did I? I know I was there. I know I was on alot of stages.
But music??
I ranted with a few.... hmm hmm
It was more about "Theatre" for me at that time.
But DAMNITALL I can't remember.

hmm hmm

• Mistress of Ceremonies - yes,
• Board Member - yes,
• scenester - yes,
• dilettante- yes,
• drunken moron - yes,
• party-harder - yes yes and yes!

Actually it is my fervent prayer not to be remembered as I have some pictures I have censored mightily over the years for compassionate reasons... family you know....

Thank the Lord there were no digital cameras back then or who knows what blackmail would be going on. Truthfully: although drunken and awful I was never a whore (that I remember) although it amused me no end to have a bad reptutation. After all, my perogative was the whole fuck you thing. Putting on my suit and going to my super straight job with blue and purple hair felt incredibly empowering at the time. But do I remember what exactly I was up to? Other than the shows in Theatre? And TheatreSports?
No I do not.

This is probably a good thing.
L7 never became L8. heheh
I was slapped a few times and had a few dust-ups with other gaudier females who thought I was a shit. I woke up in a few busses in other cities with people I support- - -
Maybe I am a *never was* ...
except: I am deliriously happy with who I am now. Olde and cool.
Possibly olde and deluded but who cares.

Inserting my favourite quote about biographies courtesy Yul Brynner (notorious liar, exaggerator, bon vivant and actor):
"The facts of my life have nothing to do with the realities of my existence."


Yeah, too too true.
Singing with bands? Likely.
Playing wth bands?
- - not sure anymore.

Standing down

It has been a wonderful few weeks. After so many things that taxed my energy reserves, a little sun peeked through. Basking in the beams, I am unwinding and relaxing. MMMmmmm.

I love my life.

Two Hurrays!

Big Hurray #1

Thank you to all those prayed for me. Full glory to God I am not needing any more surgery. Just a check up in 6 months. SO HURRAY and thank you.

Big Hurray #2

More Tolkien coming soon. Ooooo I cant wait for this!

Happy First Day of Spring!

Happy happy happy

( Pep does the happy dance all over the blog )

GUESS WHAT?

After years of pain and torment, my manipulations are almost complete.
One silly millimeter to go and I will be unwired but still bionic.

I cannot wait. The end, she is in sight.

A Gem

To my delight, the Wordsmith is back on my rotation.
Oh what a pleasure to be doing anything at all for this wonderful man.
He greets me with:
" Are you as fit as you look?"

Well bless his heart for that.

He is asking me if I like poetry. Of course he remembers me but not the details of me or he would not be asking. We used to have word duels when I saw him all the time but he is 2 years older now and considerably frailer, and quite deaf.

Nevermind that, he is asking me if I like Noise?
He means Alfred Noyes and next I am hearing a recitation of
"The Highwayman.


Well naturally I know this as Loreena McKennit turned it into a song.
So he is chanting and I am singing as merrily we go along.

I love my job.



and this is a cute little rendition:

Happy

♥
A MUCH BETTER DAY!!!

♥
Praise the Lord!

♥


shall we go for two in a row??